Allow Me To Shine

I have been a man since before I was a child Having moments so harsh sending me into the wild As a boy 14 I learned the man in our home was not dad I learned my biological father recommends abortion my mom left sad She refused due to her belief Only her parents as her relief As a young man saving to move out on my own I received a call on a bowling alley phone My stepfather had done something to my sister I went from Sean the teen to MR my mother confided in me bringing truth to light He hurt my sister so deep this cant be right He looked at me and lied to my face My life accelling at an uncontrollable pace He went to jail where he deserved to be I was left to support my family I became a man the instant I heard my mother cry I remembered her strength when she refused to let me die I watched as she wept tears forming a puddle I told her to go where she could climb from the rubble I told her find happiness whatever it takes I will do just want my mother back I love you find the path toward a new beginning you did nothing wrong he was responsible for the sinning I could not believe our world came crashing down Hard to smile when your family wears a frown I grew from these moments became a man on the frontline through experience no idea no plan I became a father shortly after that was my chance at a new chapter I grew stronger as each day passed bye Never seeking therapy to find out why One of my most defining mistakes to date I would learn the downfalls a little to late After years of constant growth I became ill major depression, suicidal prescribed pill after pill Hospitalized for my recovery to take place Couldn't look in the mirror at my very own face I learned too many lessons the hard way over the years holding back memories hiding the tears I never had a crutch to lean on when strife appeared had to rise to the occasion live up to my beard had to face that mirror and tell myself You will rise above adversity but you need help I have been in therapy for over 15 years in total learned so much about feelings it made me hopeful But the problem is no one around me has received the same So when it comes to explaining myself others look at me in shame They don't understand the feeling process as I have learned Knowledge is a power through therapy I have earned why do others see my knowledge my growth as rude I try to explain my opinions and beliefs they get misconstrued offer new life to me and I will keep mine I imagine they someday allow me to shine