Afterthought

The calls come in like a bored neighbor I respond as if I’m doin’ them a favor I force a smile my face starts to crack they wanna talk I say I’ll call them back I watch a film to try to justify my mood a documentary to focus my point of view gain perspective suppress my selfish thoughts before I’m exposed like the Wizard of Oz My mind travels to where I’m not I think of myself as an afterthought I talk about real problems like mine are fake and hindsight is farther than far too late now my eyes won’t close I don’t suppose you’d wanna talk? you say you might so I assume you’d rather not after all, it’s late and the world don’t revolve ‘round me if I’m feelin’ lonely I should have had company and the light’s back on I hum along with its buzz if I’m unsure where I am how can I know where I was? but it all seems clear I was sad but not this sad and you were there you had it bad but not so bad I had my chances in a different time different place I didn’t miss the point it’s laughing in my face like people who prove everyone else wrong except when I proved you wrong it meant you were movin’ on like someone who calls you a friend but looks up to you to catch you lookin’ down at them you see them cringe as you watch their face drop and you know you won’t see ‘em again till you’re an afterthought