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Haven
She was my SANCTUARY. My safe harbor during the wicked storms life offers when you are so young. She always knew exactly how to make me laugh. Smiles were always worn when we were together. She took me to my first concert. New Kids on The Block. I remember it like it was yesterday. Every day after school I always looked forward to coming home to see her. She was twelve years older than me, so she meant the world to me. She offered tenderness to those who had less than her. She volunteered and brought such joy to those who surrounded her. I never imagined she would want to leave me or my family. WHEN LIFE BECAME TOUGH SHE EMBRACED ME WITH KINDNESS. my older sister- life was so much easier with her in my life She was my tropical OASIS. My shelter from all the difficulties I faced in my life. It seemed the older she became the less smiles she wore. I can’t say there was an exact moment when her depression became worse, but when it did is when we all knew the end was near. She grew tired of what the world was offering her and truth be told the end of her life was just about the ending of mine also. It must have been difficult being a lesbian. She was ridiculed her whole life by ignorance and injustice. Back then, being gay was looked down upon. But I knew her more than anyone. I knew all the goodness she held inside even though her pain was unbearable. WHEN LIFE BECAME TOUGH SHE ENCOMPASSED ME WITH SINCERITY... confining sadness imprisoned by the hatred- held captive by scorn She was my long-lost RETREAT. My hideaway protection from all the times I felt alone and abandoned. If only she knew now how much I needed her. I remember the last time I saw her. I kissed her goodbye and we said, “I love you”. She went missing for three months and it was the hardest three months of my life. When we found her, she was frozen in the snow. She had taken that last drink and swallowed too many pills. A closed casket and all I wanted to do was see her face one last time. Her goodbye letter is still tucked away gently in my old journal. “My pain was unbearable. I’m sorry for causing you so much pain. I will always love you and see you one day….” Suicide became her legacy, and to me that’s just plain sad. What about all the goodness she offered to the world? What about all the love she gave away to people she never even knew? WHEN LIFE BECAME TOUGH SHE CUDDLED ME WITH LOVE... winter stole my friend her compassion my refuge- beautiful haven Form H-With A Theme Broken Wings February 8, 2017
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