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I Remember, Do You 7-11-16
Do you remember when we were small, so small? All of us together in the years when Mom was still happy and He was still called Dad? Back when they both were still young enough to see the beauty in all of lifes cruelties. The years before He gave into himself, the years before She had the wisdom and insight to understand the empty twisted eyes She had all along been gazing into. It was when we were all loved, and we were still all of us together. Do you remember? I do. I remember the cookies She helped us make every year for Santa. Do you remember? I remember the balloons, the cake, the candles and the gifts every year made special just for us on our day. The day She made sure we each knew just how happy she was that we were hers. Do you remember? I remember picnics at so many different parks, all of us together laughing together, parks with swings that He once pushed us on, and merry-go-rounds that he once spun just for us. Do you remember any of it? Can you? No, most of you probably can't. I was just moments old enough while most of you were just moments to small. I remember watching the slow decay of the bond that held us, all of us together. I still remember when Mom began to cry quietly alone more than she laughed. I still remember as our home and lives had become less and less all because He began taking more and more. Eventually stopping to provide for us all together. This is when He began the progression to no longer and never again be known as dad. When He started to become no more than a name that today we do our best not to speak. I remember every cruel word, broken promise, and raised fist. Do any of you? Any of it? I remember when Mom was frantic for so long, desperate to just hold us together, to just keep us all together. Her love for us, all of us, was/is so indescribably deep and her pain as we all began to disappear without logic or reason was so overwhelmingly intense that it darkened the light around her. Stronger souls have crumbled to nothing faced with the weight of lesser pains. She never gave in, a true testament to her own strength. I was there, I watched, I remember. I remember watching as He twisted her love, her pain, and her fear into something He could use. As Mom cried wolf He already had them crying witch. I remember when I was all alone because of Him. I also remember that I survived Him. That Mom survived Him, that you survived Him. Remember, that one day we all will be able to remember that all of us survived Him.
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Book: Reflection on the Important Things