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Eldritch Hysterical Annihilation Syndrome
I walk o u t... I am lost in unapproachable light—a spectral broth I am tasting the screaming silence—the archetypal observer dissects my essence-fossil Passion a seismic rupture between life/death/rebirth gnaws at my marrow This dilemma-kudzu coils tight, constricting tomorrow's breath Death stalks me, a shadow with obsidian fangs Sin's fruit—a parasitic putrefaction— erupts in my gut I am spewing maggot-guilt crawls through my veins I am the battlefield where body and soul, once conjoined redwoods, splinter and disintegrate— a forest-demise festering in eternal night I am left to sweetly rot amidst the remnants B e n e a t h incomprehensible maws of time Venus flytraps gnash at my fleeing heels I am stumbling on fate's toxic exhalation each second: a funeral elegy I am that pestilent being—a mosquito to bioluminescent decay— writhing in fetid mangrove darkness smells of dread beyond redemption or shame This is my behavior: an inferno of shattered commandments incinerating the Decalogue to ash this is damnation's feast prepared O wretched spirit I don this stigmata husk like strangler fig—(a garment defiled) each root a sin-tendril swelling I birth chasms eruptive rifts spreading wide where each reflection morphs into abomination— a funhouse glacier warping reality from withinside In Abadan's wasteland my seared conscience faces the locust swarm; each bite a sin-seed each wound a godless form I grapple with the remnants of my existence I snarl-howl for lust's thorn-whip flays my back— the persecutor-persecuted forever ensnared in siege Mère des putains I cradle abomination-saplings to my withered breast Each blasphemy-sap soothes the children of unrest anthropomorphic gods—vulture-judges— perch on destiny's dead tree cackling as I immolate in antinomianism's pyre uncontrolled and free This is a Halloween-eternity stretches into an endless Arctic twilight this is where no soul-cleanse can purge the gluttony of my blight I gorge on despair-demonspawn for terror's roots twist deeper— in soil fertilized by acid-tears I no longer have the strength to weep the cost is a price I can't afford I am bound by my own excesses this existence churns like a tempest relentless and consuming Hysterical Annihilation Soteriology— a doctrine-spore of the insane— preaches a false hope: the cruelest nectar-poison ever to sear my tongue In this confessional-abattoir I stand debarked and flayed— my immortality denied my fate forever scourged Drip Drip Drip the water torture of regret — Each splash: an eternity-erosion each ripple: apocalypse I reach for salvation's mirage however I grasp only demonwaste air— as the Stygian-sinkhole yawns wider devouring my very last prayer Terror incarnate I metamorphose into the apex-nightmare I feared my sanity's last leaf—a noose reality clear-cut and seared the witness-witnessed the horror-horrified unite— in Hysterical Annihilation I dissolve— a tsunami of primordial fear As I traverse the threshold I carry my candy and my curse trembling in frost-bitten hands the horrors of the night cling to me like spectral tendrils mom and dad on the couch This is their world bathed in flickering blue their faces—: This is their ignorance: masks of normalcy— concealing terrors they never knew "How was trick-or-treating?" they inquire voices echoing from a hollow void their eyes vacant mirrors—reflect the screen where cinematic violence cavorts I mumble "Fine" choking on the lie— thick as cemetery loam while visions of dreadlands roil within me The first Purge plays on—a pale shadow of my mind's eldritch creation I stand P e T r I f I e D caught between two realms of DaM naTioN one foot in childhood's dying light one in eldritch fears my costume is a flimsy veil 'tween innocence and sears "Come sit with us" Dad pats the couch oblivious to the tightening-tendrils that slither in my wake mom proffers popcorn— like kernels like maggots to my eyes— each crunch an echo of universe-devouring cries I nestle between them seeking warmth; it can't penetrate the cold glacial horror now etched in my marrow their laughter at on-screen chaos rings discordant and alien while inside my soul undergoes a terrifying irreversible MeT aMorph OsiS In the emanation of their mirth I discern the careworn lines etched on their brows the weight of unshed fears beneath the veneer of mundane joys they'll never fathom the landscapes of desolation I've traversed— (because they remain blissfully unaware) — the eldritch truths that leave me cursed I am of twelve-years a baby girl No LonGeR! I am ancient in my horror forever remaining I am indelibly marked by this night Of existential anguish As I cast a glance at Mom Her eyes flicker with concern A fleeting shadow And dad's comforting hand feels leaden However I recognize that this is their world a fragile facade Each smile a shield against the encroaching AP Par I Tion As I ascend the final steps to bed Where night terrors lie and wait Their love, a delicate tether, pulls me back from the precipice Yet darkness looms ever closer An inescapable wraith Shrouding my soul in its frigid oblivion I catch glimpse of their world, so normal so distant A flicker of light devoured by the Wyrm's abyss In unapproachable silence I am the shattered witness I am vivisected, forever ensnared In the nightmares I've yet to conjure But must inevitably confront [The poem ends here but the page continues...] ...or does it? Bid farewell to the inked parchment, But you'll never unlearn what you've B e CoM e
Copyright © 2025 Daniel Henry Rodgers. All Rights Reserved

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