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Night Terrors
As I awakened to the night terrors again it's 3am. I know I'm being monitored in my own home Ciro Gargano installs cameras to watch my every movement in order to know when I write in my journal he breaks in my home to read it he scribble over the words dynamite my heart races I'm reminded of the sit down he was in a rage giving orders to his crew what kind of flammable to burn this building down quarter sticks of dynamite from Ferrara junk yard brought in by Doug from Vegas two hand grenades from micky or plain old gasoline or lighter fluid poured onto a dust pan to be placed under each door my head spinning getting dizzy his voice filled with rage scolding his workers after the November election this all had to be done before the new year for the corrupt city officials roll count Ciro Gargano yells he had fireman gene Kalinowski in his pocket gene was Ciro business partner video games juke boxes washers dryers laundromat and illegal gambling machines he had stored in local taverns that was now covered in tear gas after the FBI raided all of his businesses he needed a new business blue prints of the Karcher hotel laid on his desk a few code enforcement officers worked for Ciro helping to get the citations removed from his buildings as he plotted the burn out I remember sleeping in the tow truck with my two daughters my abusive husband kicked out of the army with a nothing to lose attitude was manic working for Ciro thee only employment he could get Ciro was excited his army details field artillery explosives so now Ciro had the perfect crew to carried out the perfect arson resulting in all those elderly persons death Christmas day the coldest day imagined I awakened within the night voices FBI agents what do you know about arson murder do you know your husband and Ciro killed a lot of elderly people I heard Ciro Gargano say just take the building down everybody will get paid after this job is done he paid off firemen code enforcement city officials that gambled drug dealers he paid his workers in drugs but this was Christmas Eve 1984 the workers were hungry with families living in tow trucks my girls and I waited for the job to be over to eat get toys maybe a home away from the gas filled shop the tow truck was my home where I slept with pneumonia aching reading a Christmas Carol to my girls listening to men and mice rant raving finally micky traded two hand grenades for a pacman machine it was time Doug arrived from Ferrara scrapyard Jerry removed spark plugs from police cruiser fireman gene gave Ciro his cloth sack of quarters he collected from lil Pete's homestead and the liquor store on Lewis Ciro gave him brown paper bag of drugs from the city Christmas party with the commissioner officer Theodore tippie Holderbaum brother was Jerry Holderbaum he ran the shop he gave the kids and I kfc chicken from the city officials Christmas party I couldn't move or eat sweating fever coughing the fumes were horrible the crew was complete waiting on Angelo and Cansler as extras the girls and I was taken to Micheal Henly and his wife Liz house on grand Ave and sunset not far from the Karcher hotel it was freezing I sat sick on the sofa the kids were warm they played with the Henley kids passed midnight I sat waiting for my husband to return he finally came sirens 3am with Doug in his truck we drove to El rancho inn across from the Point family restaurant they both smelled of soot Angelo and Cansler had a room at the inn too Ciro arrived paying the hotel for the rooms for all the crew giving them all brown paper bags drugs and cash this cold Christmas day Ciro burned down the city the next day I went in the back of his shop to get clothes for the girls he let me store a few things because we were homeless the garage was filled with racks of wool coats racks of silk suits racks of ties racks of fabrics stacks of fabrics garments Ciro was busy with the owner of Kaplan clothes planning to expand into clothing my mind races every night remembered the FBI asking me did I sew it hit me the tailor shop was on the first floor of the Karcher hotel these memories caused me great suffering resulted in a severe nervous breakdown at work panic disorder anxiety disorder ptsd reliving my life as a confidential human source for the FBI simply because Ciro and my abusive husbands set blazes resulting in 9 murders through many years in therapy on medication my psychiatrist psychologist hypnotic therapy I was able to finally get closure writing in my mental health journal for years this led Ciro Gargano to hire Wisconsin hitmen violent offenders to murder me break in my home read pages report back to him I'd witnessed the plotting of arson murder of 9 persons Ciro attempted to murder me several times including exploding a car bomb igniting in my face crushing my face bruising my brain I survived only by gods grace he continues stalking planting cams in my home breaking in reading my journal ripping my poems I'm so blessed for my doctors EMDR coping with traumatic events awakening through the night with night sweats heart racing panting panic attacks hearing my fetus heart beating loudly like bombs hearing the FBI say you have to know something your husband and Ciro torched a building 8 elderly people died I lived in total fear and then Ciro returned victim 9 he was blackmailing my abusive husband over a car payment and a paper tag history repeated itself 1998 the building that stored the fabric racks of suits all those years blaze set using EMCO chemicals victim 9 homeless man Ciro grew enraged to silence me sent jay Townsend Johnson Henry to rip my journal read my poetry and return to him she became obsessed with impersonating me to obstruct justice in the arson murders of 9 grueling city officials helping a serial killer stalk me as I remain in constant mental health care treatment coping with the traumatic events of murder I don't regret wearing wires pregnant buying weapons and drugs for the FBI it gave me closure
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