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finding comfort in each other while losing us
I searched for comfort in the things that hurt me the most And I always hoped For the best but I have this tendency to make things harder than they need to be and I tend to leave before they leave me because they always leave me broken and sometimes Im numb and some days it’s hard to breathe when i think how my good wasn’t good enough but it felt good to laugh and it felt good to smile but we fell in love between white lines and the words blurred between them. It’s hard to love an addict but what happens when two addicts are in love? Who will be the one that makes the choice when they’re free falling together inside of this void full of the feeling of getting high is what they most enjoyed so who will be the one to pull the string and let their parachute deploy or are we just going to come crashing getting lost in that feeling that was fleeting laying there gasping having flashbacks of us laughing knowing we were the ones to destroy our love. It didn't take long for the room to fill with dust and these four walls came down around us where we once found love were now falling apart and I wish we could go back to the start before we left scars on each others hearts because we both had our own vice that made the pain feel rather nice but it came at a price that was full of sleepless nights we used to laugh and now we fight about who’s right and what we don’t like about each other fueling the words we would write down but never say and neither one of us is happy but your silence becomes the most violent when you take me down with your quiet leaving me crying, alone in your bed regretting those things I had said and couldn’t stop saying as it starts replaying as I’m laying there waiting, for you to come back into this room and tell me our love is worth saving but when you come back you’re drunk and I start hating more of myself trying to help you help me I got lost in between the way it was supposed to be and the reality that we watched our love die the whole time and talked about it when we got high and I would cry and I’ve come to realize that i always kill myself inside for things that make me feel alive and you tried I’ll admit you did your best I’m a mess at best and you have the same heart in your chest that I have in mine and I ripped out my spine and gave it to you because you didn’t know what shape you were in and and when I thought that you meant the words that you said I realize it now laying in your bed that I would be the one alone in the end.
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Book: Reflection on the Important Things