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I wished I was a race car driver,
but it took money, and I never had enough.
And women did not do it back in the day,
and now I get so many jollies racing other
idiots on the freeway, I have my racing “fix”
both to work and from work,
so it is not my current wish.
I wished I was a secretary, until I became
on at a company where the other one had walked
off mad, and seven men stood behind me waving
hundreds of pages, yelling that they wanted me to
type their proposals first. I lost forty-pounds in two
weeks, and never got to go to the bathroom,
finally quitting after a little nervous breakdown.
The great news, is that my roommate was
their former secretary, and we had lots
of laughs at their expense while we recovered.
I wished I was a ballerina
But I never took dance lessons
Then I tore my ACL and my Meniscus
so now I barely walk
plus I have arthritis in my feet
and who wants to pay to see a
hundred and eighty-nine pound
sixty-seven-year-old with an apple
stomach in a tutu? Maybe my grandchildren
and the kids at school, and my arch enemy, Sheila.
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