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Reformation

by
 A Gentleman, most wretched in his Lot, 
A wrangling and reproving Wife had got, 
Who, tho' she curb'd his Pleasures, and his Food, 
Call'd him My Dear, and did it for his Good, 
Ills to prevent; She of all Ills the worst, 
So wisely Froward, and so kindly Curst.
The Servants too experiment her Lungs, And find they've Breath to serve a thousand Tongues.
Nothing went on; for her eternal Clack Still rectifying, set all Matters back; Nor Town, nor Neighbours, nor the Court cou'd please, But furnish'd Matter for her sharp Disease.
To distant Plains at length he gets her down, With no Affairs to manage of her own; Hoping from that unactive State to find A calmer Habit, grown upon her Mind: But soon return'd he hears her at his Door, As noisy and tempestuous as before; Yet mildly ask'd, How she her Days had spent Amidst the Quiet of a sweet Content, Where Shepherds 'tend their Flocks, and Maids their Pails, And no harsh Mistress domineers, or rails? Not rail! she cries–Why, I that had no share In their Concerns, cou'd not the Trollops spare; But told 'em, they were Sluts–And for the Swains, My Name a Terror to them still remains; So often I reprov'd their slothful Faults, And with such Freedom told 'em all my Thoughts, That I no more amongst them cou'd reside.
Has then, alas! the Gentleman reply'd, One single Month so much their patience try'd? Where you by Day, and but at Seasons due, Cou'd with your Clamours their Defects pursue; How had they shrunk, and justly been afraid, Had they with me one Curtain Lecture heard! Yet enter Madam, and resume your Sway; Who can't Command, must silently Obey.
In secret here let endless Faults be found, Till, like Reformers who in States abound, You all to Ruin bring, and ev'ry Part confound.

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