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Enter Poem or Quote (Required)Required It only started as a misconception, a misunderstanding then like grass fed rain, it grew...grew into this A eulogy, maybe this could be it about you? For once, this is about me How can it be...how can it be? Dreaming, a dreamer am I I've been dreaming since I was five What age am I? 13? Sorry, I felt like I was just a little older I've had a rough life to live through Lately I've been on edge, a steady step away from jumping headfirst off a bridge, off a ledge; yeah My life, a disarray of scattered promises some broken, some kept Emptiness, sorrow; all I seem to understand everything has swept under me too fast and I have nothing to hold onto to help me stand Help me, I'm stuck on a roller coaster I've had to teach myself how to react, how to attack how to be stronger than me while an unconscious thought screams, "WHERE'S MY DAD AT?" but unknown training left me to mimic the things I've seen on TV or the reality set before Chameleon boy and where are my parents: working and away Unknown and unheard of has my father been till I was out of kindergarten No one told me anything yet again I asked no questions maybe I was just too young to understand like a good boy, I just fell in line while the innocence took over, leaving the oblivion and my mother..somehow I've found 3 more women to call mom They've treated me as part of their pack, their family while in my own home, I'm the black sheep while in my own home, I'm the outcast When did home turn into high school part 2? I shouldn't have to teach myself anything I shouldn't have to change colors to satisfy anyone so why do I feel I need to be a rainbow to be noticed cause I'm so sick of being clear, of being me How can it be, how can it be? All I've ever known up until 4th grade was knowledge knowledge only got me so far I didn't know the stage beyond friend I didn't know how to make friends, how to be one Socially awkward, is this my disease Misguided and divided I am Is this what all Geminis face or is it just me Did I remind her so much of my father that my punishment is to live in my island of a room and never return to shore Everyone wonders why I'm the odd one, why I'm the distant one why not since I know I'll never be enough I know I've been more than a little harsh I might have everything all wrong but have you ever been taken away from your father kicking and screaming while he stands defeated switched between parents, back and forth switched between states, off and on for years on end Growing up yet you are absolutely oblivious the only thing you know to be true is the sky is blue the only thing you know to be true is the one place you hate From 4th grade on, I've been a vortex spiraling down, becoming gradually worse guess where I'm bordering now In 5th grade, a poor reaction from confused feelings lead to a breakdown and a halting of tears I couldn't stand 6th grade, I was a walking time bomb fueled by rage, quelled by romance but all was fleeting all I saw was red All my judgments went so poorly and every other day I hadn't the strength to move on almost becoming a part of the in-crowd that little kid dream of fitting in Isn't it fun, caring so much while losing yourself ends friendships funny, I never wanted to leave that year behind I had my childhood friends, a girlfriend I knew these people for years, I was content until I went home, packed my bags not breathing a word of goodbye giving up everything it took years for me to have whisked away to a new life a new life I want nothing apart of 7th grade, what a maze I stood on my heels, pacing, a loser Fitting in with people I know I'll never see again showing a side of me I never knew existed while becoming confused with a different attitude towards this new life I've been chosen to live education still my dictator but that summer changed everything I grew into myself, making new friends along the way somehow I was someone everyone claimed to love 8th grade is where my life started, apparently my best year Popularity, I reached my goal; I was thinking for myself finally feeling like I was more than a face but everything fell apart too quickly Everywhere I looked up, we had to pack and move there was too many questions and stress while I just wanted to survive the year yet I survived nothing Like my walls, I withered and crumbled Why must I always be taken away from the things the things I love the most It's like breathing in cancer to remember so I try to forget but I meet irreplaceable people yet I know we'll grow of touch Life just loves to see me suffer Insanity is just sitting there, laughing away while music tries to calm me down with the aid of friends, the people I've come to know and love and the one I'm chasing after Somehow through the dark clouds I find beauty in the unseen life of the world I care too much, fall too hard, love too seriously I try to be more than myself when I really just want to be...me I admit I'm selfish yet selfless This life has proven an obstacle I cannot conquer My heart is strong but my bones are weak I think too much and all I've been through just made me older just made me wish for a better life wish for something beyond this yet I just needed some relief tonight from my shattered wasteland of uncharted feelings Let the waves calm to halt and the sunset fall A tale for time to read and weep for the misery of...me
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