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A Piece of the Pie
This was only our second date... A Black Tie Affair... ...Set against an incredible view, vineyards, waterfalls, a plentitude of flower beds, all just outside a charming postcard Town. This indeed was a serious event, anyone  who was anyone... and my date...were here. A live Jazz Band filled the air with a symphony of soothing sounds we all took our seats as  The Annual Fine Pie Tasting Festival began. My first nibble was an Orange  Blossom Grand Marnier Silk Pie. I cleansed my palate with a sixty seven French Beaujolais   took my tiny fork and partook of a slice of heaven. The pie had a fine bouquet with a peach raspberry scent. It was a nice blend, moist, with a fragrant overtone of fermented grapes... my date, well, my date just porked down her first slice... ...in one swallow. Her comment? ..."Yeah, yummy" and added "can I have some more wine, and fill the glass up this time, Mr. Stingy" Ah the wonderful charm of youth (...luckily no one heard her.) Now came the second offering a Vienna Chocolate Lace Kaluha Pie. My date grabbed three slices complaining about the size. Charming! (...Thank God no one saw. I enjoy my ranking in this exclusive social group) If she asks for more wine I'm going to hand her the bottle  tell her to swig that. The next offering is a Dulche De Leche Italian Rum Pie I dread the thought she might try to wring a slice in order to squeeze out the Rum. All is well, she has wolfed down her serving before the thought occurs to her. Imagine my surprise? I order a third bottle of wine. There is not a drop left in our second bottle, not a drop. Can you wring a glass bottle?  I doubt I have had a full ounce of wine yet. At eleven hundred dollars a bottle I start to question my taste... .....................................in.... .......women. My stunning date excuses herself. With all that wine I am surprised she has waited this long. She is wearing a gorgeous gown... "you can put lipstick on a pig..." "shit! did I just say that out loud" The  night continued... pie after pie more and more wine. The pie slices are small the bill will be HUGE! ...but ah the pies... Sweet Lime Tequila Mouse Pie Vanilla Bourbon Brazilian Pecan Pie Irish Cream Island Coconut Mouse Pie Lady Godiva Truffle Raspberry Liqueur Pie to name a few. Pie tasting? A refined activity  of the gourmet connoisseur. My disaster of a date has returned, (God she's beautiful!) "So Scrooge" she says "are you ready to leave" I am so embarrassed she is crass and rude in front of all these distinguished people. "Come on, I'm bored with this crowd of stiffs. Let's blow this Popsicle Stand," she says " They all have pickles up their asses" Well I never. ( Popsicle Stand? Just how young is she?) She continues "Honey, it is time to go back to your place for the best piece of pie you have ever had." At this point my twenty five year old goddess is more beautiful than any woman any marvel I have ever viewed... her words immaculate... ....You don't have to hit me over the head with a hammer.  ...Personally I was fed up of  all these stiffs with pickles up their ass. I think I gave some sort of dignitary the finger on the way out... ...I was excited. I have never driven so fast in my life. Finally I was going to get my piece of the pie. 16~10~2014 Sponsor: Sheri Fresonke Harper Contest Name: Plentitude of Pies
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Book: Shattered Sighs