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Unwavering Personality Love and Hate
(His Version of Split Personalities/Love and Hate) Your personality is so baffling to me, how after all that you’ve endured is it still unwavering? I am speaking to you in regard to myself because I am astonished with your mind, the way you were able to rise from the ashes after I burned you in that time It’s true my love I am the reason for your unwanted pain, and every time I catch my own eyes in the mirror, I condemn him to shame I am not the man now that you knew so long ago, I have since banished his evil ways and have gained a soul With you I was full of life only because you brought that out of me, and with you there was no pretending then I was the man I always wished to be It’s true you were subjected to the uglier, crueler side, but he even wanted to be gentle with you, his pain he tried to hide He spoke in my voice, his mannerisms mocked mine, and I could tell you knew the energy had shifted within me back in that time You’re right the loving side of me he could never stand there so stoic while you cried, it’s true, he would have pulled you into his arms and shielded you from the hatred side The hatred is fighting with the love trying to take reign, and all the while my body is immobilized unable to say a thing You my love, you love the loving side of me, but this hatred that he parades around inside his skin could he really be me? You ask me what happened, what changed my mind? Can’t you see I was trying to protect you from the evil that lurks inside The side of me you adore that you call “love” he was everything that you ever wanted, all that you ever dreamed of But now someone else has taken over and he goes by “hate” I handed over all my power to him after letting him have a taste Maybe you’re right, maybe I finally broke within my mind, and the only escape I could turn to was to give myself to one that only knew how to lie One that knew how to mask his feelings, one that could close off his emotions with a switch, one that never had to experience pain or even know it exists One that could take the man that you loved and use his body as a vessel, and spread his hatred like a virus to anyone susceptible All because the man you loved, the loving side, he couldn’t take the truth that he could never have you no matter how hard he tried What about your pain though, what choice were you given then? It wasn’t fair to banish you and for him to play pretend Pretend that I don’t still reside in the depths of his soul, just waiting until I am healed enough to once again become whole I never let go of the memories we made, I never let go of the love, I just wasn’t man enough to face the pain, I wasn’t ready for the end to come I see you in front of me tears streaming from those beautiful eyes, and “hate” is holding me back from wiping them away, although my love I did try You brought me back from the depths of my tortured soul so long ago, and maybe your love will be enough for “love” to take back control Until then I will sit here in my self-imprisonment, and try to escape the chains around my heart and for once and all, finish this But you my love, please know that you truly inspire me, with your love, your strength, and most of all your unwavering personality.
Copyright © 2024 Amanda Kinzer. All Rights Reserved

Book: Reflection on the Important Things