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TRIGGER WARNING this piece features active addiction, the struggles etc I Can't stop screaming, sobbing the pain in my stomach is excruciating, Eventually Im assigned a bed to be left in whaling, waiting, Finally a nurse is dispatched, Thank goodness back up to help me fight this Death match at least I'm praying, Hush now sweetheart this will help, small scratch, Well done aren't you brave now the doctors prescribed this and that, Mum, dad this will work fast to reduce the pain, she should be much more comfortable real soon as it was given through the vein, I could feel the warmth rush through each artery and enter every vein, And just like the nurse said it didn't take long before you soon soothed the pain, Hello sweet how are we doing? Oh much better I see Dr will be round shortly to see if we can get you feeling better swiftly, See eventually I would become a medical mystery a sort of enigma, They, nor I knew what was wrong with me, And they wouldn't give a diagnosis for another 9 years actually, I was at the mercy of The Professionals Whatever they suggested I obliged wholeheartedly, Wrongly or rightly, and then the horror began with the first investigative surgery, That was our first introduction, we were both a lot smaller way back then, On the children's ward at the hospital where it was lights out by 10, The nurse brought you round about 6 hourly and that feeling you gave me was larger than life, It didn't take long before you became at constant part of life, For 17 years in fact give or take the odd short break, Where the pain would return, ding ding round 2 another fight, another beating down I'd take Eventually you would always worm your way back in again and again, At first it would seem a blessing as you took the pain away my liquid jem, But it wasn't long before your poison started rotting me away physically thanks to your sweet sweet sugary consistency and then psychologically, It was like making a deal with the devil to be pain free I had to sell him/ you my identity actually you stole it right from underneath me, Then soon you stopped soothing the pain at all, unless I took more and more and more and more, I learnt this the hard way but I still couldn't fight your lure, It's the nature of the beast the evil within you it creates an unquenchable thirst that's never satisfied, No matter how much you take it still cries begs for you to provide or withdrawals are the consequences supplied, Inevitably the day came where I lost all control and we could no longer be trusted in this toxic partnership, I could no longer take you responsibly, So from that day forth I admitted you'd won the war, you'd defeated me Asking for reinforcements I felt like a failure the shame the guilt and feeling emotionally much less a human to see, I had to submit and truthfully admit I had become a prescription painkiller addict to oxycodien, morphine, pregablin an endless list of narcotics, But I'd probably take any narcotic available at that point, thankfully I've not hit the streets yet, But I no longer have any control over the yearnings the cravings for you anymore, but I no this roads a soloists If we're being truthfully honest I'd take whatever I could get I was at my lowest, And now here I sit as tears fill my eyes trying not to quit on quitting, To not let you! this liquid win and rule my life, Because the price to pay will be my life and I want to keep on living, Actually I want to live without morphine dictating consuming my body my soul my very being and quite literally every corner of my mind, This is no doubt the biggest fight I think I'll ever face, and I feel like I'm going in blind, I don't know if I can do this but I'm willing to keep on trying, To find a way to be a clean and sober prescription free me! Hi my name is Sarah and I'm an opioid, narcotic prescription medication addict, Who's currently fighting her active addiction, the doctors aren't always right, Research, research, research alternatives to addictive substances are available, don't end up like me fighting to stay alive fighting for a new life. (I do just want to add a little note here, I have been involved in a sort of mishmash program pretty pittiful to be honest, however I'm staying strong I'm on a steady reduction program that I've nearly completed, geniuely the darkest and hardest time of my life, don't just pop pills because the doctor says or manage your medication strictly these options were never given yo me and the consequences of using these medications were never outlined I was a child when they stated prescribing me high doses of narcotics my parents followed the doctor's advice. In the UK you now have the right to choose if a referral is sent you can request who it's sent to, if your unhappy you have the right to a second opinion without feeling disloyal it can be done discreetly. DO NOT JUST SETTLE if something doesn't feel right or ok question it research it don't end up on this mess like me, my illness was horrendous but the addiction the withdrawals 100 times worse and there is no help or support available because it's prescription medication not heroin so no rehab centers, no psychological support networks no one will accept me I've had to do this on my own. I've rambled on far to much I think you get the picture be safe take care of yourself and your bodies. Love ?? and peace ??

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A Rhyme Into My Active Prescription Medication Addiction, and the Start of My Recovery

TRIGGER WARNING this piece features active addiction, the struggles etc I Can't stop screaming, sobbing the pain in my stomach is excruciating, Eventually Im assigned a bed to be left in whaling, waiting, Finally a nurse is dispatched, Thank goodness back up to help me fight this Death match at least I'm praying, Hush now sweetheart this will help, small scratch, Well done aren't you brave now the doctors prescribed this and that, Mum, dad this will work fast to reduce the pain, she should be much more comfortable real soon as it was given through the vein, I could feel the warmth rush through each artery and enter every vein, And just like the nurse said it didn't take long before you soon soothed the pain, Hello sweet how are we doing? Oh much better I see Dr will be round shortly to see if we can get you feeling better swiftly, See eventually I would become a medical mystery a sort of enigma, They, nor I knew what was wrong with me, And they wouldn't give a diagnosis for another 9 years actually, I was at the mercy of The Professionals Whatever they suggested I obliged wholeheartedly, Wrongly or rightly, and then the horror began with the first investigative surgery, That was our first introduction, we were both a lot smaller way back then, On the children's ward at the hospital where it was lights out by 10, The nurse brought you round about 6 hourly and that feeling you gave me was larger than life, It didn't take long before you became at constant part of life, For 17 years in fact give or take the odd short break, Where the pain would return, ding ding round 2 another fight, another beating down I'd take Eventually you would always worm your way back in again and again, At first it would seem a blessing as you took the pain away my liquid jem, But it wasn't long before your poison started rotting me away physically thanks to your sweet sweet sugary consistency and then psychologically, It was like making a deal with the devil to be pain free I had to sell him/ you my identity actually you stole it right from underneath me, Then soon you stopped soothing the pain at all, unless I took more and more and more and more, I learnt this the hard way but I still couldn't fight your lure, It's the nature of the beast the evil within you it creates an unquenchable thirst that's never satisfied, No matter how much you take it still cries begs for you to provide or withdrawals are the consequences supplied, Inevitably the day came where I lost all control and we could no longer be trusted in this toxic partnership, I could no longer take you responsibly, So from that day forth I admitted you'd won the war, you'd defeated me Asking for reinforcements I felt like a failure the shame the guilt and feeling emotionally much less a human to see, I had to submit and truthfully admit I had become a prescription painkiller addict to oxycodien, morphine, pregablin an endless list of narcotics, But I'd probably take any narcotic available at that point, thankfully I've not hit the streets yet, But I no longer have any control over the yearnings the cravings for you anymore, but I no this roads a soloists If we're being truthfully honest I'd take whatever I could get I was at my lowest, And now here I sit as tears fill my eyes trying not to quit on quitting, To not let you! this liquid win and rule my life, Because the price to pay will be my life and I want to keep on living, Actually I want to live without morphine dictating consuming my body my soul my very being and quite literally every corner of my mind, This is no doubt the biggest fight I think I'll ever face, and I feel like I'm going in blind, I don't know if I can do this but I'm willing to keep on trying, To find a way to be a clean and sober prescription free me! Hi my name is Sarah and I'm an opioid, narcotic prescription medication addict, Who's currently fighting her active addiction, the doctors aren't always right, Research, research, research alternatives to addictive substances are available, don't end up like me fighting to stay alive fighting for a new life. (I do just want to add a little note here, I have been involved in a sort of mishmash program pretty pittiful to be honest, however I'm staying strong I'm on a steady reduction program that I've nearly completed, geniuely the darkest and hardest time of my life, don't just pop pills because the doctor says or manage your medication strictly these options were never given yo me and the consequences of using these medications were never outlined I was a child when they stated prescribing me high doses of narcotics my parents followed the doctor's advice. In the UK you now have the right to choose if a referral is sent you can request who it's sent to, if your unhappy you have the right to a second opinion without feeling disloyal it can be done discreetly. DO NOT JUST SETTLE if something doesn't feel right or ok question it research it don't end up on this mess like me, my illness was horrendous but the addiction the withdrawals 100 times worse and there is no help or support available because it's prescription medication not heroin so no rehab centers, no psychological support networks no one will accept me I've had to do this on my own. I've rambled on far to much I think you get the picture be safe take care of yourself and your bodies. Love ?? and peace ??

Book: Reflection on the Important Things