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Employment Trauma
My protagonist today, a Gay Black Religious Mature Male, not quite ready for silver-grey Obama temples Is off this morning to a new full-time job, 8 to 5, Monday through Friday. He has been out of his calming, regular custodial collared routine, for over two years, And has long been anticipating just this kind of post-traumatic economic morning. Up with the sun, shower, shave, dressing just showman right-- not shaman flashy but not beatdown polyester-- lunch in his red and white pristine cooler generously filled with fresh wholesome food He is not feeling like he will be able to eat. His stomach is Post Traumatic Employment Stress churning. He looks into his refrigerator while telling me he is in knots and at least half a mind wishing to not show up, To tell them he doesn't think right. Doesn't feel he can get through his uncontrolled fear and self-loathing for not manning up while They background check his suffering character references. He doesn't think or feel he can survive this day even though he has no doubt he can do this job better without Them. He wants to give up, walk away if he can't freeze in his more health and safety habitat place. I am stunned into silence. This is hard to hear, to link up with how excited he was to apply and to get a call from his would-be "nice guy" supervisor, after meeting suspicious him. He told me how surprised he was to feel like this Straight White Male was one of the good, reasonable, non-toxic guys. Eventually, after our anxious potential hero heads out with heavy feet and knotted stomach, I recall how he might have felt when he left his last full-time employment day, dismissed without notice. His employment record reads "tardiness." But, off his common knowledge record is a victim of systemic racism, a supervisor's personal superiority prejudice, global heterosexist homophobia. Victimized by StraightWhiteMales for being who he is, and not getting support from brown-skinned guys he thought were potential allies because he has no proper heterosexual credentials. Talk therapy may be widely used to prepare his LeftBrain to reconstruct past traumatic experiences. The therapeutic goal, to resolve through better contextual understanding in a LeftBrain verbal rational way. This can be helpful, I suppose, but PostTrauma disordered victims need PreAbundant nurturing anticipations fading frozen fears of further victimization, economic and/or political trauma due to personal identity rejections that have historically been cause for criminalization, colonization, enslavement, sending out evangelical missionaries, in nationalistic Patriarchal/Capitalist drunken salvific supremacist history. Dissociative experience of eco-political trauma is as deep margins felt in our RightHemispheres interdependent serotonin/dopamine fading flight outside our BusinessAsCompetitionUsual, patriarchal-capitalist, Either elitist in Or deleted out, deductive verbal labeling LeftHemispheres Capable of calmly, curiously, courageously distinguishing thought-out purposes for our win/lose past behaviors within an overwhelming evolutionary Fight Makes Patriarchal/Capitalist Right competitive manly worldviews justifying punishing severances. Trauma, to ecological and psychological and economic and political relationships, deeply retains fear and/or anger neuro-sensory systemic terrifying memories Post-Loser re-victimized by re-experiencing active distrust, dissociation as the opposite of Attachment's sacred experiential promise of cooperative warm-wombed peace, Win/Win behavioral and verbal communing safety, personal health prosperity on a planet growing in eco-wealth anticipating provisions. In my protagonist's developmental special employment case, I also hear theological trauma-- deeply felt shame and blame, and White-righteous Straight Capitalist/Patriarchal divine judgment. Such deep trauma responds most resonantly to having a positive gain experience today, this morning, while filling out pre-employment paperwork, feeling those he meets are divinely delighted and delightful. Then he may feel already a bit relieved. He may, thereby, rediscover sufficient environmental resonance therapeutic courage to continue showing up with a positive, let's get it cooperatively done, nonviolent gratitude attitude To open sufficient hope for potential healthy and safe team players, we all need respect for human and civilizing rights, but we are transformed by downright resiliently appreciative multiculturally experienced values. Each day, at work and play, can invite affirmation for polypathic transparency The gospel's "Poor in Spirit" are our vulnerable person-ego identities, expecting merely reasonable eco-therapeutic compassion and actively hoping for polyculturally intelligent communication. Best therapeutic practice for anger fear hate greed exploitation enslavement criminalization colonization predation experiences ruminating traumatic employment narratives are new compassionate work and play environments of cooperative courage to get through our shared sacred vocations in this another EarthBeauty and SacredTruth re-education day. All Mattering Employment's vocationally Great Again meaning is found in our economically felt politically experienced solidarity, our cooperative win/win generosity, our co-investment in pro-active peace and co-passion; Not our traumatic enslavement, repressive employment, and past discrimination by retributive Patriarchal/Capitalist straight white gatekeepers who have also had traumatic losses. Perhaps our collective loss experiences are more systemically acute for those with more difficult personal and political and economic births into a Straight White Patriarchal/Capitalist religion where one's own dark and queer embodied experience may be unjust unhealthy cause for a traumatic can't win Loser Life is a slow unfair death sentence Uttered by LeftBrain dominant Patriarchal/Capitalist anti-peace excommunications.
Copyright © 2024 Gerald Dillenbeck. All Rights Reserved

Book: Shattered Sighs