Hiding Love

Hiding Love

Walk, walk. Just walk. In my loved place, in the Fryent Country Park. This is so magnetic and natural place in London. A hilly place. Beautiful fields, forests, lakes, small ponds, and a wonderful natural world. Amazing memory from the earlier centuries. Hmm. A memento. I often imagine what the landscape here might have been like hundreds of years ago. My mind’s eye sees herds of cattle, working peasants, shepherds, and manors. Old times. Sometimes I get a feeling of déjà vu here, in this place. It’s like I already know this place and area. I like and enjoy the time, the view, and the silence of nature here. But maybe it’s because of my childhood. I grew up in the countryside in my European home. My parents had a nice big farm. At the end of the garden was a beautiful river. Green land. Unforgettable life, feelings, and moments. Oh, passed years.

– But you cannot find anything. Something. – Said Satan.

– This is true. This is the reality. But something is waiting. – I answered.

– She is hiding. She is evil. She enjoys your suffering. She looks down on you because you are European. A Hungarian. Drop her out of your mind. (Forget this lady of Albion.) The better way to end the blue life. To blue life.

There are incredible unknown feelings and life. In the blue life. – Said it friendly, loved Satan.

– But something is missing. I feel emptiness. I feel an alluring void. Space. – I said.

– Because you want to go there. – Said Satan.

– Dear Satan. Please, understand me. I feel an attraction. It wants to kill me. – I said to Satan.

– She is that. Selfish. Stranger soul. Forget. She wants to kill you. She cursed you. – Said Satan.

– But in the woods, I feel something. Pure emptiness, friendly alien spirituality. – I said.

–That’s the new love. And your life. You cannot find it here. Because that is the road to hell. Said Satan.

– Said Chris Rea. – I answered.

– Nice music. – Said Satan.

– Yes, I listened to it just now. A memory of my youth. – I said.

– That’s your way. Road to hell. – Said Satan.

I feel like I don’t know where to go. Not the first time. No, this is the first time of my hesitated. Land of my soul, full of roads, paths, and undiscovered passages. Hmm. There is no main road. Walk without a map in a labyrinth in the silence of death in day and night. And night and day. There is no exit. The entrance is destroyed. When I turn around and look back, I can’t see the road. The space is playing a strange game with me. My sensory and visual systems are collapsing. Where did I come from? Where did I come from, and where am I going? I’ve forgotten everything. I can’t remember my life. I don’t remember anything. I’m confused. Oh, when will the end? – That’s far. You must continue your journey. – Said Satan.

Timeless way, timeless trip, timeless march, timeless journey. A manifestation of a soul. Restless Solitude. – Very restless. – Noted, Satan.

Life is not really kind. Kindness is far from life. It’s never touched my life. Ice, ice, and ice. Ice lives everywhere in my life. And the ice is laughing at my fate.

You know. Maybe not. But I want to find the way. The way out of this unpleasant life, fate.

Perhaps some people say, "This guy is crazy; he has everything in his life." Hmm. Partly, this is true. They are wrong overall. They don’t see the dictates of my heart. They don’t see the will of fate.

– I drive your fate, you came to the gate. – Said Satan. – This is one way. You cannot turn back. – Continued Master.

– Then I will die when I visit that place again. – I answered.

– No. Just the Hell wants to see you again. – Replied Satan.

– Okay, Master, I will go there. – I answered.

– As soon as possible. – Told Satan.

Just walk and walk. I can’t see the way. The path moves under me. I am blind. I feel the wind. Whirlwind. Everything trembles and blurs. The ways. All. Ways are changing. Tempting, terrifying paths branch out in every direction. A vortex is coming. Every road before me is a way. Only one way. Every road before me spins in an infinite direction.

– This is your gate. Way to Life. Hiding Love. – Said Satan.

– Then a gate? – I asked.

– Where is it? – I asked.

– Where is your hiding love? Just come to the gate. – Said Satan.

I am here

My tomb is full

Full of dried flowers

I am dead

In my gate

But I live

In the blue life

Given by Satan

The Blue World

The opened

Hiding Love

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