Footprints

With each step I take I leave a footprint deep in the ground. No matter how light I tread, I sink. No matter how slow, I step and watch my shoe as it gets slowly immersed in a Jelly-like ground. Once thought to be roaming on terra firma, now, nothing is known. I am an artist, an athlete, and a poet. I always have been, but now, I am older. I am now a thinker, a friend, and a teacher. I have witnessed new sides of our world, and that unlocks a new side to me. A side I have yet to discover.

In my mind, to those who wait, great things will come by. I believed in thoughts over actions and writing over words. Not because one was superior, but because it's a way I felt most comfortable as to how I spoke my mind. We write out our own lives as individuals, but we don't write them with words. Instead, we write with our actions. Before we act, we think, so we can make good decisions over bad. That is where most people get caught up. That's where I did. I got so worried about making the wrong decisions and so eager to take a step, that I forgot to step at all. I believe in patience over speed. Pace doesn't matter in the way we live as long as we never stop.

I waited to get bullied, picked on, forgotten and cursed at on my way to school. On my walks home, I braced myself for an unknown day ahead of me, fearful of what was ahead. I complained to myself that life wasn't fair and nothing could be done about it. With a step, I lower into the ground. When I stomp, I get swallowed by cement. A permanent print on my life. I hid my life at home and concealed my thoughts from the world. I let anxiety submerge me and the cycle of avoidance took flight.

As time went by I learned to control and regulate anxiety. If I was getting yelled at, I would learn to breathe. Close, my eyes and let myself be unbothered, untouched. I imagined an island beach with no one but myself. Feeling the sand on my body, a soft tree against my back, and a book in my hand, and when I looked up, I saw nothing but an endless shimmering green ocean. The smells of sea salt, sounds of seagulls chirping, and crystal crashing waves against the clear foaming waters gave me a way to become grounded. Leaving me with footprints I can feel proud of.

I have grown as a writer, as an artist, and as a person overall. I have grown through my mind and experiences from the past. I am patient, calm, and wise. Forgiveness has become an important part of my life and understand that each person has their own difficult life, filled with struggles and challenges like mine. As I have opened up and made more friends, I have learned that people are not always as they seem. A simple cliche, but one of the most important to remember. I have learned to think before I act but to act and make a difference. I have made a goal to go out of my way to do at least one kind thing for someone each day. I joined a youth group and have a voluntary summer job at a bible school for younger kids. I leave footprints that I am proud of by doing things I enjoy and being able to recognize and appreciate the world around me and the life I am currently living.

Comments