Best Angsty Poems
stellar companion
sparkles icily
a narcissistic twinkle
Awoken by my internal clock,
the ground is cold and sticky.
Head is pounding,
body is dirty,
why did I sleep here?
Arch my back up slightly off the wooden floor,
shards of brown glass pop off my grey hoodie.
Better get a grip before this gets worse.
My eyes crack open.
It takes longer for the room to get into focus than usual.
For a solid five minutes the living room looked like its reflection in the Hudson River.
Is it dark?
No.
Do my guts hurt?
No.
Do I remember what happened last night?
Barely.
My first six drinks were Pabst Blue Ribbon
but I must have gotten myself into something else.
My nose hurts—
damn,
how much money do I have?
Less but not much less.
If I did cocaine I didn’t pay for it.
Check the clock,
8:35am
class is at 9:20am
better head to the bus.
I get up,
brush myself off,
toss one strap of my backpack over my shoulder
head out the blue door.
Leaving the house like this
leaves me insecure.
My body likely smells of yeasty mold,
my breath likely smells like the inside of an ancient treasure chest,
the general aura of smoke follows me as well.
Jessie stops me in the streets.
Catches me in the act of walking while recovering.
“your hair is messy,
your smell is musty,
your general aura is tired.”
Thanks
I thought to myself.
I tried to leave.
Jessie stops me.
“What do you want out of all this?”
“I want to live like this until something or someone stops me.”
“What about karma?
Don’t you think that if you keep behaving like this, it’ll hit you hard?”
“Karma is reality,
if it just proved it to me I’d be happy.”
She left with an unimpressed prolonged gaze.
but I got to class on time.
I woke up
warm
in my bed.
I like Jessie
I hope I see her today.
She’d make fun of me
and I’d laugh.
these feelings
they make me feel distant from all that I am
I don't want love, I just want to care
These feelings, I wish they could be gone forever
I wish I could just get myself back together
As I lie there, falling down,
I ask myself
Can I ever even care?
As I'm breaking apart,
I ask myself
Do I even care?
I haven't a clue where I am,
Where I should be.
All I know is that it isn't here.
They'll only look for me when I'm gone
But I get it, I get it
Just another sad soul that they pretend to care about
why is he only missed when he is gone?
another man with nothing left to gain
Nothing more than a product of all his pain
Maybe he's just crazy
Tripping over something on the daily
Drifting in and out of time
Tossing and turning
This must be hell
Tripping over his own feet
Falling deeper
Drifting further away
No one reaches out towards his shaky hands
They don't wanna deal with it
But it's okay
Cause I don't think I wanna deal with it
In my own grave I think I'll stay
But don't be so scared
Of the depths of my hell
Loneliness, it fits me all too well
Melting into her arms, I know I cannot escape
Now I'm face down
Face down again
It's been so long
Since I've ever even cared
Face down until the end
I don't think I'll ever even care.
I love you so much, that
you can only disgust me now
All your flaws and red flags spark
crimson, like a seductive rose.
Gross and yet longing for your
body to seek for every blemish there
To point, prod and pinch deeper
with a gentle lover’s touch.
I loathe the time spent together
but weep miseries when we part
Knowing months will pass till I see you
with silence over missed calls, ringing.
Your humour is tedious and dry
yet, I feign chuckles at your puns
Seeing your eyes beam up with
joy thinking that I’m such a cool guy.
Not a Nice Guy- don't get me twisted
I just want you to feel seen, my dear
With my blank stare thinking of other women
whilst watching your plush lips, yearning.
Yielding. Every time my
heart beats with bitter ennui
A steady rhythm of no change
for I am mute to my one desire.
But I don't want to waste your time
cause my mouth stammers the words
“You down to smash?” I am, but I don't
want to be just that, but I need that.
Primal attraction, two dogs in heat
all fours, no rest, animalistic love
Fueled by desire, unbridled
unbound, and all uncaring.
I ache for the pillow talks of
irony and wit, our final peace.
I caress your damp hair singing
lullabies of our youth, till dawn.
I beg of you to crack my skull open
and watch me bleed out all these
Emotions I struggle to voice- freedom
the release beyond any ******.
I'm sorry that you have to deal with this
but I chose you, so it's your fault too
You entertained me for so long,
I never fathomed hurting you.
But I can, and I might… I probably will.
That's why my blood’s still running
I can't blame you for my feelings for you
I wish you didn't stay and watch me bleed.
I would write in a diary.
And leave it open on the counter, for attention.
All that would happen, is coffee spilling all over it.
Destroying my thoughts and fears that I had wasted time writing down.
And my mom yelling about how I’m always making a mess, and I’m such a mess…
I learned not to spend too much on diaries.
As they would always end up in the trash anyway.
I saw a flower standing in a ray of weeds,
Beautiful, from afar, it seemed.
I stepped closer, heart filled with greed,
For I wanted that growing seed.
I tried picking it up, thorns poking my thin skin,
It pricked me, it hurt me, yet I still wanted to hold it,
Because it's beauty pulled me in.
I saw a girl, standing in a crowded room,
Her eyes gleamed, beautiful, she seemed.
I stepped closer, heart filled with love,
Yet my mind wanted me to go above.
And now I realise, I am that flower,
And she is the person holding it,
I hurt her, through my words, through my actions,
Yet she still holds me close.
But to her, the beauty of the flower is beyond compare,
Even if the flower can't see the same reflection anywhere,
It blooms, it gives light,
But inside, the flower isn't alright.