On Don Surly
XXVIII. ? ON DON SURLY. Don SURLY, to aspire the glorious name Of a great man, and to be thought the same, Makes serious use of all great trade he knows, He speaks to men with a rhinocerote's nose, Which he thinks great ; and so reads verses too : And that is done, as he saw great men do. He has tympanies of business in his face, And can forget men's names, with a great grace. He will both argue, and discourse in oaths, Both which are great : and laugh at ill-made clothes ; That's greater, yet : to cry his own up neat. He doth at meals, alone, his pheasant eat, Which is main greatness ; and at his still board He drinks to no man : that's, too, like a lord. He keeps another's wife, which is a spice Of solemn greatness ; and he dares, at dice, Blaspheme God greatly ; or some poor hind beat, That breathes in his dog's way : and this is great. Nay more, for greatness sake, he will be one May hear my epigrams, but like of none. SURLY, use other arts, these only can Style thee a most great fool, but no great man. [AJ Notes:cry his own up neat, facilely praise his own clothes.still board, quiet table. ]