See Me Through, Lord Jesus

I know not many of us believe in the power of prayers some may dismiss it on the whole others will try and give up and there is a small handful of us that will carry on despite the outcome.

As I have mentioned earlier on in this book, I was never one for praying my quiet moments with ‘God’ was only in times of trouble. In my youthful days, I was one for always doing quite the opposite of what my parents requested of me.

My mother will say, go left and I would go right, ‘I think you get what I mean’ in my childhood, I was known as little ‘Horrid Henrietta’, mischief was my obsession and my joy came from making others miserable.

I recall one Sunday at mass sitting in the front row of the church listening to ‘Father John’ talk about the importance of prayers as young as I was, I couldn’t understand what he was talking about as I paid little attention to the service. Most of my interest was focus more on being disruptive as I spent most of the time making funny noises and pulling silly faces at the choir which sat opposite me. After mass ‘father John’ called both my grandmother and I aside and gave me a right old telling off and of course to me everything went in one ear and came out the other.

‘Mamma’ was quite annoyed but as a child, I cared very little about what others thought to me everything was hilarious until the passing of my dear precious ‘mamma’. She was known as my angel, mamma was my mother’s, mother a very rounded, large, red skin woman of Spanish, Irish, Carib descendant whom I adored dearly. As a child, I was known as one of her favorites. I guess this came about because of my skin and bone condition at a very early age, I was given to my grandmother to be looked after as my mother could not have care for me as she was a teacher and my condition needed round the clock care.

I grew up with four other cousins ‘Chris, Cherry, Marco and little Andrew who was like my tail. Our childhood was full of great outdoor adventures and fun. We were forever surrounded with other cousins and extended families there was never a dull moment in ‘Mamma’s House’ and at nights after when the sun had set and the crickets hum their tune ‘Mamma’ pulled us close and began to pray. Her prayers started with the ‘Rosary’ and always ended with the Lord’s pray.

‘Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death, Amen’.

‘Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end’. Amen.

‘Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name; Thy kingdom come; Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil’. Amen.

The older I became these words and prayers never seem to leave me. I was sixteen when she had pass it was two days after my ‘sixteenth birthday’, a death I can never forget. Her passing led to my first one to one conversation with the ‘Lord’. I remember the day she fell ill, I saw her pain as she laid helpless on her bed holding onto her Sharple as I stood beside her, I saw death written upon her face. I recall feeling a sharp pain at my side as though someone had stab me as I fell to my knees, I ran outside and sat on the swing which hung from the avocado tree staring into space, I remember asking ‘God’ to spare her life. Her life was never spared but taken a few days after she died and even till this day, I still couldn’t understand why, my Saviour and friend had taken my angel from me. I may never know the answer but I believe he has a reason for everything.

Like many, death has never been my ‘Fortier’ but I have learnt to accept death as its part of life’s journey. It’s important that we live life to our fullest as I believe life itself is a treasure and it should not be taken for granted but rather be cherish.

Remember in the early part of Patrice’s story, I mentioned about having two enemies ‘Self and ‘Satan’. If you can recall, I spoke about Self always searching for the quick fix and Satan seeks to distract, manipulates and bring forth doubt.

Whenever doubt is present there is room for disbelief, mistrust, lack of patience, dependence on self and others. I can re-assure you that relying on self only brings forth destructive behaviour and destructive behaviour causes nothing but pain, anger, conflict, bitterness, resentment, regret and separation between you and God.

When ‘Yah’ and man are separated who do you think wins the battle, ‘Satan' does. Question, why do we constantly give him the victory. I can only speak for myself, I believe it’s because we want things to turn out our own way, we do not want to wait on the Lord and why should we trust in him to plan our life. I guess as humans we enjoy making our own decisions even though we are aware that our decisions on many occasions are self-centered and not always in the best interests of others. Looking back at Patrice's story, her pain, her loss, resentment and anger towards 'Trish', I can only sympathise with her as I too once suffered such pain and loss. But through 'Yah' and his beloved son, 'Yahshua', I am found and to him I give all glory and praise'.

Philippians 4:13 " I can do all things through Christ which strengthen me".

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