Poetry Forum

theSpanishking - all messages by user

11/18/2010 5:01:53 PM
The Immortal Willow (critiquing)	The old willow down the dirt road in yellow twilight Was an immortal living as long as the eternal dark night With branches long like the timeline of history The willow and its story seem like a tale of fantasy With a trunk as tall as the golden clouds of Heaven It howls the air still, while it lay on ground flat as bread unleavened The leaves of its branches swarm its arms, like bees on sweet ole honey They sing sweet songs in wind, and turn all who eat all so funny The bark so old feels tough and rigid, like the rock side of Tennessee cliff Its feel is thick and coarse, and it shivers the startled mind stiff The roots spread far over the highest cliffs like our family tree Uprooting any being or anything with great and heavenly brutality The sweet nectar of its strength quenches those warriors who were most aged These were Spartans in a battle, no war which their soul was greatly engaged This was the strong, immortal willow far beyond the seven hills of light This tree was the incarnate of a man who perished on a cross, who was and is Gods knight edited by theSpanishking on 11/18/2010
11/18/2010 5:12:24 PM
The Immortal Willow (critique)	The old willow down the dirt road in yellow twilight Was an immortal living as long as the eternal dark night With branches long like the timeline of history The willow and its story seem like a tale of fantasy With a trunk as tall as the golden clouds of Heaven It howls the air still, while it lay on ground flat as bread unleavened The leaves of its branches swarm its arms, like bees on sweet ole honey They sing sweet songs in wind, and turn all who eat all so funny The bark so old feels tough and rigid, like the rock side of Tennessee cliff Its feel is thick and coarse, and it shivers the startled mind stiff The roots spread far over the highest cliffs like our family tree Uprooting any being or anything with great and heavenly brutality The sweet nectar of its strength quenches those warriors who were most aged These were Spartans in a battle, no war which their soul was greatly engaged This was the strong, immortal willow far beyond the seven hills of light This tree was the incarnate of a man who perished on a cross, who was and is Gods knight
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