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12/18/2021 5:02:00 PM Bob Atkinson Posts: 294	The Vow I do not reflect this mad, miserableworld Although IT tries to hardenthis heart IT will notsucceed No, my armor IS tojust be me and stand upright and firm With kindness andcompassion for all as a sword lifted high in this war I slash throughall THE gloom And this shieldof loving-kindness I hold before me, shining brightly in THEdoom? Illuminates this manifested deception, revealing,soon, THE trick being played on us all No, the harder ITtries to take me over I will stand before ITgentle and with arms open Embracing ITSsharp edges and inviting THE cuts tocome Becoming more alive as itclaws at my consciousness singing ITSseduction to lull me back into that comatose corpse I once was No,I am opening up wide this heart and taking all THEsuffering in, smiling to IT, thenletting IT all go Until THEpain IS sifted through and ended Untilall THE greed, hatred, and delusion ISfinally lifted. I will not succumb to those poisons thatwill harden this heart I take this vow for IT IS all I need To show this mad, miserable world IT will not succeed ********************************************************* Nice poem, I likes IT. We all fall into the trap of using the verb "to be" (is are was were) the definition of poetry I created is "the emotional content of literature" which means poetry doesn't state facts (what is) but shows one's emotional reaction to facts or pseudo-facts. I personally don't use a lot of punctuation or capitalization, as this distracts and is unnecessary if each line is an idea on its own. THE? IT? ITS? simply don't use them (although we all do if we don't take our time) Keeep up the good work Jr. p { margin-bottom: 0.1in; line-height: 115%; background: transparent }
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3/8/2022 10:45:07 AM Emmanuel Liadi Posts: 2	The Sound of Sorrow They have slept with their fathers Shall we seek for revenge? Even the emotions could no longer contain our sisters All we sing now is dirge. I could hear the wailing of infants and cry of women the sound of swords clanging and shouting of men Everywhere... I see darkness Death! like we had no fortress Shall we seek for revenge? ... All we sing now is dirge! They have slept with their fathers Left their children and wives Shall we seek for revenge? who will console our mothers? When will grateful tears well up in our eyes ? All we sing now is dirge. How long shall we fold our arms or fight for peace? When will the deafening and raging battle cease ? Shall we seek for revenge? ... All we sing now is dirge! -- Liadi
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