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8/3/2021 3:48:16 PM Ms Affection Posts: 9	*Challenges in life causes one to grow* The hurt and shame one will endure Can cause vision to become a blur Not settling for the prostrate position Overcoming was achieved; I identified the condition Of low self-esteem and all it entails Had my mind messed up ‘cause I thought I had failed Failed to be what he wanted and desired When looking back, I realize he conspired To belittle me and keep me down But here I am today with a re-positioned crown No longer a prisoner of others demands I took matters within so I could stand On my own two feet I had to show Challenges in life causes one to grow
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3/28/2022 8:12:35 AM Dave Collins Posts: 13	It's good and reflective. Try and eliminate as many conjunctions as possible. Prepositions too. It's ok to use them if they help the flow, not used as filler. U can fragment lines that make sense too. For ex. Hurtful shames one will endure, once clear visions now just a blur. Low esteemed self with all its entrails (Yes entrails-keep a dictionary handy) my mind a mess with thoughts I had failed. just suggestions do what u want. Good luck.
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10/22/2022 12:18:21 PM EOTrees Myles Posts: 14	To be honest, I just love your flow of rhymes, you didn't get hung up or stuttered. If you feel as though there's something missing, look it over again and do a tiny bit of editing, but it seems flow free to me. love it. -- E.O.-Tree"s Myles
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