Poetry Forum
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2/16/2020 3:08:47 PM
Alison Hodges Posts: 6
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I'm trying out a more structured form for my poetry, but I feel it lost it's flow. Please tell me what would make this a better poem.
Funeral Pyre
Living inthe creek’s dark caverns. his dwelling then had been foretold by fairytales on nights so cold. A promise of the things to come were all that kept the fires fed. Living in the creek side village, her place was clear within the clan to bind her with this darkened man. to brave his ire and heal his wounds with love’s laughter and lullabies Raised from birth to play a lead role. Her path was clear, her marriage set, a passive life, a quiet death. All was foretold when she was young At village fires and children’s beds She’d sat awaiting years and years. Shortly before the marriage day, a woman came from far away. Her tale of women taking stands and shunning the foreteller’s words. The lady, she was not convinced, By love she vowed to seize her place and heal the man with love’s embrace thus, avoiding the funeral pyre Dreamers dream, they usually lose. edited by Ananda on 2/18/2020
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