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Forum Home » High Critique » Critique please! Where it all began.

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10/18/2019 12:16:42 AM Bello Zakariyau Posts: 6	From the cookies that sweetened the truth, The green grass fields upon which the gander faded into goose, The harmless swings that made it smooth, To all the silver coconut trees that bought candy-truce. If you ever doubted where it all began, It was back in the trunk of the parents' Sedan. God forbid I refer to this a blame! On the forehead is a wild button only they could tame Knock knock! "who's there?"... "just who lost a brain." If you ever wondered where it all began,Take the blue sedan down memory lane. edited by Ibn_zakariyya on 10/18/2019 edited by Ibn_zakariyya on 10/18/2019 edited by Ibn_zakariyya on 10/18/2019
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10/18/2019 10:30:06 PM Jack Webster Posts: 255	I like the theme, and I like the specific details you’ve selected in the first stanza, but their significance is not clear to me. What truth was sweetened? What was made smooth by the swings? How do these things lead to the moment in the back of the sedan. The second stanza is very confusing to me. I don’t understand what a button is doing on a forehead; who are ‘they’? How can they tame a button on the forehead? Good luck
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10/19/2019 12:38:10 AM Bello Zakariyau Posts: 6	The poem is about corruption and where it started.
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