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For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
8/20/2019 3:26:11 PM

Bill Boenker
Posts: 3
Open my eyes on a bloodshot morning
The champion strains his leash
He's howling in pain
But he's howling in vain
The lights on Love Street are red
Tension mounts in my flesh
The rigidity of perplexed anguish
Turgid in my purple soldier's head
Veins popping, striated muscle pink and warm
I whip him, three times a day
Offer him a hand out of spite
I'll be frank: I spank and I spank
This thing's bigger than the both of us
edited by Muscoffo on 9/20/2019
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8/28/2019 3:31:53 AM

Edmund Strempfl
Posts: 10
Sorry but only see animal cruelty
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8/30/2019 7:11:58 PM

J.D. Cromwell
Posts: 16
Masturbation?
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9/2/2019 1:36:22 PM

Anna Pratt
Posts: 7
Seems like an interesting metaphor, but I don't know what it's a metaphor for
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9/5/2019 10:27:59 AM

Jack Webster
Posts: 255
The assonance in turgid and purple is simply ghastly; simply glistening - that unappealing shine the skin gets when something is starved for oxygen and about to fall off. Effective but unappealing. A seeming rigormortis
edited by superlativedeleted on 9/5/2019
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9/5/2019 4:39:32 PM

Bill Boenker
Posts: 3
Thanks! I like talking about the dog. . .
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9/14/2019 5:45:11 PM

Starlight Matis
Posts: 1
this is animal abuse, why are you whipping, spanking, and choking your dog???
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9/20/2019 2:09:53 PM

Bill Boenker
Posts: 3
Funny how a metaphor can cause people to see something so negative. Animal abuse? Choking my dog? Where did that one come from? Hilarious.
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10/14/2019 12:00:21 PM

Jack Webster
Posts: 255
Well oddly enough the word disturb isn’t the only word with the root -sturb as its core, and in both instances they share similar ideological concepts.
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