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Post here if you're new to receiving a critique and you want "gentle" feedback on your poem. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
5/6/2019 1:24:42 PM

Jeaunice Burnette
Posts: 8
drowning in a sea of faces


i am disconnected from all i encounter

gone is the illusion of interdependence.

i am a lone creature

roaming a vast abyss.

there's nothing to console me here.

the black hole of loneliness devours my psyche...




i've been told by dear Donne "no man is an island!"

yet i am psychologically stranded

on an archipelago.




reading the horizon like a new york times bestseller

in hopes of finding a rescue vessel.
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9/7/2019 8:08:32 PM

Jack Webster
Posts: 255
I apologize in advance, but I just had a margueritta;!it’s me and tequila responding.

Your line about reading the horizon is GENIUS. That’s authentic originality right there.

The previous lines need incubating to fully hatch in a more developed form.

Try reading Gerard Manley Hopkins’ ‘Terrible Sonnets’ (as in dark sonnets); read Sylvia Plath and Emily Dickinson; your family of poets awaits to receive you, my dear, and they will instruct you personally, proportionally to your careful observation of their vehicles of expression and repositories of values and tastes in regards to prosodic locution.

You are in good company, my dear; poets never die; they are as immortal as the feelings that outlive is. They will shine the way in the means of articulation.

Welcome home


You’ve got a good beginning; go deeper.
edited by superlativedeleted on 9/7/2019
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