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Forum Home » High Critique » Dry river

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
3/1/2019 1:01:32 PM

onward mutapurwa
Posts: 1
Once upon a life time,
Our love was a river overflowing in a deep channel ,
Its affluence was
The waters that never fail
It cures our thirsty souls,
I remmember those summers we cleans ourselves
It was so clear
Freshy
And we say we have find our life basis
i do believe it was more than life
But joy
trust and
faith
How was i to know it will turn to a Brook
In severe droughts it will be a wadi
Im here right now by the banks memories are my pain
Arent these pathways water channels ?
These rough stones werent they soapy
Hot and rough sands werent they nippy and fluffy

Where is that cool breeze to enrich my breathes?
A blue colour which used to run through my periphery
Why soft muddy soils turns to crumpy

no words to describe but

"collateral damage"

And there is nothing hurts to say than

"my love is now a dry river".
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