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Forum Home » High Critique » You are a beautiful song that rings in my heart

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
2/4/2019 10:20:14 AM

Kiran Nivedh Sarguneswaran
Posts: 4
You are a beautiful song that rings in my heart

You are the beautiful buzz that taps my chest




My whole evening sky with the muse of hue dusk

Only you and me in this world's musk




You are my happiness my eyes search for

You are the shadow of my soul




When we clasp our hands

Little madness starts to play

Our love floats in the air

Isn't this a lovely poem?
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2/10/2019 5:42:21 AM

Jack Webster
Posts: 118
please see my feedback for this poem in the Be Gentle forum. Would love to see it rewritten as a ghazal.
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