Book: Reflection on the Important Things

Get Your Premium Membership

Poetry Forum

home recent topics recent posts search faq

Forum Home » High Critique » Help me with this work

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
6/8/2018 5:30:47 AM

Patrick Ituma
Posts: 5
THE ORPHAN'S TEARS
The firewood of this world is too heavy to bear
The worries of this world an everyday nightmare
Like a spear it breaks through my sorrowful heart
As I sit staring at the stars
All through the night

The trees around the compound dancing the dirge of its lonliness
The goats all lying in weakness
The square we gathered now triumphed by grasses
As the mutts take harbour in your houses
The colar bone is broken
The legs have no where to hacken

The famine in my heart so dry like the desert
Even spit in tongue now dessert
Broken men now speak
All because the mighty lies weak
What a load the Carmel cannot carry
Lyes as a bride for me to marry

O my eyes so blind even with lights to see
The bright lights now blind with jealousy
The left over now become companions
As friends now form an enemy battalion
As I lye waiting for death on a stallion
While on its wings she celebrates me a broken champion

--
Pkt
permalink • reply with quote

Forum Home » High Critique » Help me with this work




Powered by AspNetForum 6.6.0.0 © 2006-2010 Jitbit Software