Poetry Forum
For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
4/18/2018 9:57:25 PM
Anastasia Stewart Posts: 12
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My brother’s keeper,
four glass walls
amber liquid in a bottle.
Drink after drink,
hear the glasses clink.
Words as bitter as the gin,
sometimes he lets the liquor win.
Drown your sorrows with every swallow,
until you feel nothing, insides hollow.
Hear your heart pumping but it's not pumping blood,
alcohol runs through your veins,
spreading with every pulse.
Words tumble out of your mouth,
True or false?
My brother's keeper has caught many before,
and oh how I know there will be many more.
If blood makes you human
then what is he?
Not the brother he used to be.
Lost in a sea of golden temptation,
each new bottle: his salvation. edited by anainabox on 4/18/2018 edited by anainabox on 4/18/2018 edited by anainabox on 4/18/2018 edited by anainabox on 8/22/2018
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4/20/2018 1:48:57 PM
CHRISTOPHER QUIGLEY Posts: 3
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like the flow think shallow might be better than hallow 0r even hollow to cause a slight break in the flow
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