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Forum Home » High Critique » My Brother's Keeper

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
4/18/2018 9:57:25 PM

Anastasia Stewart
Posts: 12
My brother’s keeper,

four glass walls

amber liquid in a bottle.

Drink after drink,

hear the glasses clink.

Words as bitter as the gin,

sometimes he lets the liquor win.

Drown your sorrows with every swallow,

until you feel nothing, insides hollow.

Hear your heart pumping but it's not pumping blood,

alcohol runs through your veins,

spreading with every pulse.

Words tumble out of your mouth,

True or false?

My brother's keeper has caught many before,

and oh how I know there will be many more.

If blood makes you human

then what is he?

Not the brother he used to be.

Lost in a sea of golden temptation,

each new bottle: his salvation.
edited by anainabox on 4/18/2018
edited by anainabox on 4/18/2018
edited by anainabox on 4/18/2018
edited by anainabox on 8/22/2018
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4/20/2018 1:48:57 PM

CHRISTOPHER QUIGLEY
Posts: 3
like the flow think shallow might be better than hallow
0r even hollow to cause a slight break in the flow
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