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Don't Post Poetry Here!!! Everything to make us smile - anecdotes, stories, fun things to do, etc. But NOT Poetry.

3/4/2018 6:04:37 PM

Gayle Rodd
Posts: 26

As I am no stranger to the economy crunch, I decided to get a second job so that I could buy the certain luxuries my family has not grown up with ( i.e. food, dental care and name brand shampoo.) Being as I'm not in my prime earning years anymore, I figured it might be tough to just get out there and snag up a job like my younger counterparts. I decided to try the fast food joints first. They're always willing to give a new person a break whether you're smart or a high school dropout - or just plain HIGH! Heck, you don't even have to speak english most of the time! Just smile, nod alot and toss in a bag of fries which is pretty much a given on any order. Unfortunately, I did not last three days. I got tired of the younger kids making me dodge the cars in the drive thru as I picked up the loose change, or pinning a sign on my back that read "kick me I'm OLD", or telling me that Johnny Depp was out back and locking me out of the building when I went to see. Finally I thought ....'hmm I'm smarter than this. I can do something else."..

I went to see my friend who owns a strip bar. Ofcourse! I thought, I can dance at his club. Well, after much begging (and about six shots of bourbon,) I finally conned my friend into letting me try to dance. In the beginning I was alittle intimidated by the beautiful girls that danced (some topless) and such beautiful costumes too (what little there was of them.) I started to climb on the pole and my friend told me I had to go to the 'over forty' table in the back. It was really dark back there and instead of a pole I had to use a walker that one of the patrons had left. I guess it wasn't too bad even though the song they had me dance to was "Don't Show Me That". I guess the final straw came when some guy went and complained that my left "tassle' kept sagging into his drink.

Last I thought, I would try the phone sex thing but it kindof lost it's charm when you could hear my granddaughter in the background crying for more juice.

Oh well, I tried. Maybe I'll hit the lottery tomorrow. I bought one scratch ticket and won a buck. Now I just need to do that a million more times.
edited by Mari' on 3/4/2018

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