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2/18/2018 5:22:25 AM Patrick Caukill Posts: 3	Finding Poetry There was a flyover, with galvanized railings, that snarled so moronically. Looming black bin-liners, dementors, whipped on the weekends winds. The neighbours elm who’s beckoning branches breeched our garden, shadows shading our lawn A scarred brown leather belt with brass buckle, just like my fathers. The sinewy dark dog that snarled and snapped at my ankles but only I could see. "You’ll be okay, pull yourself together"… Those, meant-well comments. Yet, all I needed to know was, one day the thick billowing smog that smothers, sucks and suffocates, would somehow clear, that’s when I picked up a pen. edited by Patrick Caukill on 2/18/2018 edited by Patrick Caukill on 2/18/2018
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2/24/2018 2:21:13 PM Stephen Wilson-Floyd Posts: 49	I like this. Let me take a chance at its literal meaning. A son remembers his father's death in an airplane (fighter? because of the leather belt and buckle). He imagines the snarling engine and plane parts disintegrating, his neighbor's yard, shadows. It makes him want to find closure by writing. Let me suggest "whose" for "who's" and I felt "shading shadows" was a bit redundant. I thought "that's when I picked up a pen" perhaps put too fine a point on it. I would stop at "clear". The title explains the motivation for writing. Trust the reader. I'm afraid with the comments you will think I didn't like this. But I do. There is a good story here. Best wishes!
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2/27/2018 12:36:25 AM Patrick Caukill Posts: 3	Dear Stephen, Thank you for your constructive and thoughtful feedback. You have an interesting perspective of the poem and you picked up the connection to the father as a wartime pilot. The flyover also means a bridge and that and the other images were luring a depressed narrator toward suicide. That is until they found poetry as a creative outlet. It is the 1st poem I have ever shared so I expected far sterner feedback. I truly appreciate your reply and will redraft with your comments in mind.
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3/9/2018 3:49:06 AM rincy mathew Posts: 1	Thanks a lot for sharing about the poetry. I got a lot of useful informations from this article. i try to follow this instructions and rules. i hope you include more post. -- kerala houseboats
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