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For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!

1/29/2018 12:50:36 PM Stephen Wilson-Floyd Posts: 49	I like the topic, an ode to service dogs. I like some phrases for sound and sense like "hastened passersby", "mirrored facades", "mobile uncertainties", and "leather layered uniform". That said, I feel the tone is a bit off-putting for a wide modern audience. I can accept a dog as speaker, but the anachronisms detract in my opinion. "Behold" and "fret not" seem like an attempt to ennoble the language. Trust your subject. If dogs are worthy (and I believe they are), their value can be best assessed by their actions. You might consider writing the poem in the third person with an actual event (internet search). The "who am I" kind of development here with the pay off being a dog, doesn't really work for me. Best wishes!
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1/31/2018 12:00:45 PM Stephen Wilson-Floyd Posts: 49	Yes, I feel this is much better. You changed the speaker in the poem and omitted some of the elevated language. I must confess that I too cannot totally rewrite some poems. What I do is write as many as I can, completely discard some as though trying to forget drunken misbehavior the night before and regretting the hangover. What was I thinking? Not to say this poem is one of those, just remember: you are in control of your own poems. Keep writing! Best of wishes.
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