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For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
11/30/2017 7:03:32 PM

Ann King
Posts: 1
I guess you drank the drink so much that the drink drankyou.
It consumed you,
Until you were a lifeless body on the ground.
And for the past year I’ve wondered—
When you took your last breath were you scared?
…or were you relieved?
Cause you were fighting demons that no one even knew.
But since the demons conquered you,
They have walked into my room
And begun to introduce themselves.

They say,
“Hi, I’m Anxiety, the type that shows up uninvited, just tomake things interesting”
Then Addiction comes along and says,
“I know you like thedrink as much as him, so consume! Consume!”
And of course, Depression tries to stick it’s head in thedoor and says
“Hi, I’m Depression, but not the one you met before
I’ll bring you darker days than you ever knew”
And all I want to do is scream at them
Until my breath runs out so they won’t find their way insideof my head
But it’s too late because they’ve made their home inside mybrain
And I swear they have insomnia
They don’t rest
They just run laps around my head
Circling, making me dizzy with despair.
And missing you makes it worse.
If you were still here, you would make me laugh so hard theanxiety would fly from my mouth.
I would smile so big that the depression would ooze from myears
You would hug me so hard the Addiction would seep from mypores
And all that would be left, is me.
So come back to me, Brother.
Walk into my dreams and tell me stories.
Make the wind blow on a still day so I can feel your presence.
Shine the light through the dark clouds and save me.


NOTE: I appreciate any criticisms or suggestions!
edited by hak11 on 11/30/2017
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