Poetry Forum
For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
7/3/2011 8:51:03 PM
George Stal Posts: 2
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looking for critique on this piece
----------------------- I said welcome him in colonel pepper. let our guest enjoy it while it lasts crooked nicotine stains showing where to dust off your boots Now we're getting somewhere with this gold- leaf checklist all prompt & ready to board 1/ Fill the Ashtray. 2/ Sharpen the Pencils 3/ Remember to Exhale. Zero/ Remember to move. For isn't that the hardest part to living , the actual living part, no matter to the fact we're all locked away for safekeeping. Torchs pre lit for the next flame war screeching Douche over the bricked up Alley kitterns mewl like stuck pigs struggling below swamp. backed fur & all that Jazz. Top cat isn't here anymore as the SFX department handles the kiddie shows now. In human forms parading on screen snatched into an ultra violet world caught all stop motion. I wish we could all stop a moment pick it apart and see what really went down beyond all this he say she say business spinning lines from stardust.
-- "Without the reader ..... ............. ....................... ..............................
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