Poetry Forum

home recent topics recent posts search faq

Forum Home » High Critique » critique anyone?? (please critique on all 3 poems)

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
5/24/2011 5:00:04 PM

caren paulan
Posts: 1
I am Earth..

I am the root of life’s endurance.

From the emergence of one’s breath

To death’s uninvited entrance

I am the cradle of everyone’s wealth.

Though I provide for almost everything,

Fresh air, crops, fruits and shelter

Nobody hears my call of healing

I need to be replenished now or never

I dutifully provide all that people need

But instead of delight and contentment,

I see more cravings and unending greed.

Thus ensuing my melancholy and resentment

Hear me cry, hear me weep

I am being consumed far more than I could give

Soon my deterioration will kill us all

So start acting now before such catastrophe befalls

It is I, Mother Earth, in my depths of despair,

Ask you, my benefactors to give me more care

For it is I who keeps your race surviving

So you may, in ages, continue on living.

The Search...

"the search is on",

i whisper and smile,

for sadness has already gone,

i have grown an extra mile..

months passed and i found one,

And our future as bright as the sun.

As i turn to gold from copper,

i tell myself, "the search is over.."


Escape reality,

enter the world or Fantasy..

It's simple...

permalink • reply with quote
5/24/2011 10:13:20 PM

Earle Brown
Posts: 3
"Emancipation" - If you are escaping reality to "enter" fantasy wouldn't that be slavery?

"I Am Earth" - sometimes we try to rhyme and end up losing the real essence of our write.

"The Search..." - There is not much to say about this write (it is too simply).
permalink • reply with quote

Forum Home » High Critique » critique anyone?? (please critique on all 3 poems)

Powered by AspNetForum © 2006-2010 Jitbit Software