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Forum Home » High Critique » Critique for This Is An Oath For You, My Friend

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
10/29/2017 2:39:09 PM

Sianna Knight
Posts: 1
You try to define the blurry lines in your mind
You try to hide the fear that’s behind your eyes
You try to explain how this is the end
How you never want to wake up again

But you don’t see what I see
You don’t know that your life is just starting
Can’t you see this isn’t the end, friend
This is when your life starts to begin

You say the razor helps your clustered head
I say the razor will have you dead
You think that scars will heal your heart
But friend, destruction only tears you apart

Caught up between you and who they want you to be
With their mask and your mask, you forgot what it’s like to see
The thing that will keep you alive is your own will to try
So try to trust me and I’ll try to keep you alive

Your mind goes on and on at night
A mile a minute, and endless fight
You say your thoughts fill you with hate
Then simply use your thoughts to create

Wipe away the tear that has fallen down your eye
There’s a reason why you’re here, so create, don’t cry
Use the thoughts that destroy to keep yourself alive
Write, paint, just create, and time will fly by

You say that it’s pointless
You’ve tried, it’s just useless
But you can only save yourself
All I can do is help

I’ll tell you that you don’t deserve to go through this pain
I’ll use these words; they’re all I have, to wipe your tears away
I’m praying, screaming, hoping, wishing, pleading that I hear you say,
“I promise you with all my heart that I’ll stay alive today”
And tomorrow...
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