Poetry Forum
For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
8/24/2017 1:44:35 AM
Sanja Cokolic Posts: 13
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Blue is the pluvious color
He said remember me by the shape of my laugh but I rarely saw a smile climbing upon his image
left with no choice than wrap those rare moments seized with Polaroid seconds I'm ordering them not to wear blue faces as that was the only color he didn't want to follow him
consider it done
I'll lineup macarons in every tone is possible to imagine I'll spread gummy bears all over that wooden plate which holds your body so you can finally perceive how it feels lying on the rainbow
yes I'll pare down those blue shades so that even rainbow cognises how does it feel being left ripped
and no there will be no rain
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8/24/2017 9:22:42 AM
Dean Wood Posts: 31
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Sounds like are real somber guy! I am not good with this form so I have no suggestions. I enjoyed this!
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8/24/2017 9:48:41 AM
Sanja Cokolic Posts: 13
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Thank you for the feedback
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9/3/2017 2:15:31 PM
rachael wylie Posts: 4
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I feel like it would make more sense if you said a pluvious colour as there are others, (purple, blue-green, etc.) Just a suggestion though, either way it sounds great!
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9/4/2017 8:47:42 PM
Elizabeth McCann Posts: 3
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Love the idea. I'd change only a few words. I found "climbing" hard, but really liked "no rain."
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9/6/2017 6:52:40 AM
Sanja Cokolic Posts: 13
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Thank you all
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