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8/10/2017 10:45:25 AM Stan Bradford Posts: 5	A Derelict I am, I guess, a tattered soul. A vagabond of sort. A derelict adrift at sea. No captain and no port. Nowhere to go, no one to guide. This frail and haggard bark, Aimlessly drifts out to sea, Piteously and stark. No pilot here the helm to take. No first mate to assist. Into oblivion adrift, Into a dark abyss. Will there one day a solace be? Will nepenthe be won? Can a sweet respite be found Before my setting sun? I posted this a few years back and had several comments on it. For the most part they were positive. Just wanted a fresh perspective from fresh viewers.
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8/22/2017 1:43:29 PM Dean Wood Posts: 31	Stan, I would agree, this is a good poem. I like the derelict ship metaphor and you stick with that right to the end. Well done. I don't like the word piteously. I am not even sure that is a word but regardless it is an adverb whereas "stark" is an adjective. Stick with the adjective "Piteous". "Nepenthe"; very nice! Great work!
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8/22/2017 7:10:33 PM Stan Bradford Posts: 5	Thank you for the advise.
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8/23/2017 2:41:52 PM Beverly Read Posts: 3	Stan, I like this poem and the imagery that you use. Tattered soul is good, and I like frail and haggard bark. A suggestion might be to switch the phrases on the first line of the second verse. When I read it I don't stop at the end of the line and it comes out "no one to guide this frail and haggard bark." I know there is a period but I don't stop at it. I would stop if the line were "No one to guide, nowhere to go." Just a thought because when I get to the end of the second line (where, by the way, you don't need a comma) I stop as though there is a period. But I really like the poem. edited by swandotter on 8/23/2017
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8/24/2017 10:35:33 AM Stan Bradford Posts: 5	Thank you swandotter. I wrote this a few months after my divorce. I have remained a "derelict" for going on 12 years now.
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