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8/3/2017 1:59:07 AM ronald cole Posts: 1	The ballad of Timothy Lee The story of a man who longed to see begging for the love of a woman, who is she? this is the ballad of timothy lee Traveling coast to coast, to find herself she left timothy, two days past the twelfth unbeknownst to him, the devil had a very nice grin he swore this a step, never to take leaving timothy lee with a heart, damaged by a stake The story of a man who longed to see begging for the love of a woman, who is she? this is the ballad of timothy lee as days were a blur and the nights crept on timothy struggled to move along the end was a near for timothy lee the woman struggled, fighting the devil within never to show the pain she was in still weak from the bottle and her love of timothy lee never telling him why, was a sure way for him to die timothy lee took his life that day without so much as a note and leaving his life in array the devil with a cheerful grin musky scent and breath of gin able to say he got his way Stealing Lees reason to live trouble and strife, ending timothy life Ultimately leaving him still blind to see the love, that she will hold for him, all of he days this is the end of a story of a man who can no longer see no longer waiting for the woman, who is, me this is the ballad of timothy lee
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8/23/2017 11:02:30 AM Dean Wood Posts: 31	Ronald, I like your sad story but I am not fond of the form you used especially if you are going to call it a Ballad. This is written primarily in tercet stanzas (three lines each). With a rhyme scheme that seems to vary randomly. I see aba, aab, abb, and aaa mixed through out. Ballads are written as Quatrains (four lines each), usually with an abab or abcb rhyme scheme. Also, ballads usually adhere to a strict syllable count and meter. Alternating between 4 foot and 3 foot meters. Your poem is very loose with the meter. In lines 1 and 3 of your stanzas the syllable count ranges from 10 (in the first staza) to as much as 17. You have two couplets (two-line stanzas) inserted into your tercet format which is fine but the each have a different rhyme scheme, 1st is aa, and the 2nd is ab with an internal rhyme for b. With all this unstructured business happening, it is more difficult to read and detracts from an otherwise well-thought out story and message. Good luck as you work on this piece.
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