Poetry Forum
For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
7/10/2017 5:31:47 PM
Anastasia Stewart Posts: 12
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Sweet Here After
It took me four years to finally leave, to see the person who was changing me. Who was that standing in the mirror? Eyes once elated, now consumed by fear. I held on because who was to catch me if I let go, you always said I couldn’t do it on my own. What I thought was love was just a disguise, imagine my shock when I realized. But I complied with your mask and even made one as well, I knew her better than I know myself. I stayed, through the words that chipped away at my soul, through the nights you left me all on my own. But it took your hand to shatter my mask, that set me free at last. So I ran without knowing where to run, I only knew that I was done. Done with the past and feeling sorry, it was time that I live without worry. That girl is behind me, I have purged all her sins. I am ready to say this battle was my win. No more silent screams, I have a reason for laughter, finally I can say I’m living in the sweet here after.
Searching for constructive criticism, I haven't been writing poetry long so, I want do know what I am doing wrong and what I can do better.
How is my grammar? Rhyming? Is the message clear and concise? Does anything feel forced or too cliche? edited by anainabox on 7/10/2017 edited by anainabox on 7/12/2017
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7/24/2017 7:21:33 PM
Angeline Vine Posts: 3
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The death grip of my dependence shattered by your mask of love your chainsaw words stained my electric eyes with fear....
I stayed, with wounds
You get it? Add some creative descriptions !
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