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6/25/2017 11:29:03 PM Marilyn Newman Posts: 4	You are the gentlemen who allowed me to love you endlessly. I chose you to become my soulmate, without you in my life I feel like a square. You don't have a minimal clue how much you mean to me. I care about you so much. There are times I gaze at the clouds through my window and see figures of a heart. When I look in the mirror, I see I cannot wait to encounter you once more and give you a neverending French kiss, one which will want to make you give me an enormous hug and squeeze me so tightly. I'm glad you became a part of my life, I'm excited for the beautiful years we will cherish together. Each year we will grow old together and age with wisdom and knowledge but united as one. Love didn't tare us apart. It made us stronger and brought us closer to one another. You've shown me how to embrace our relationship. When I do things, I only think of you. When I think about you. Nothing in this world matters but you. When I'm alone, I miss you so much I try not to have an emotional breaking down. When I'm in your arms, I feel like the most important woman in the universe. I am your queen, it is to me that you treat like a goddess. You treated me like a goddess which is why I cherish every moment Thanks to your gestures I am the woman that I am todayI'll never leave your side. I want our love to be eternal. An ongoing cycle that doesn't stop. In my eyes, you will forever be my husband. edited by Marilyn.Newman on 6/26/2017 edited by Marilyn.Newman on 6/26/2017
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6/26/2017 10:27:07 AM Marilyn Newman Posts: 4	Would anyone be kind enough and assist me on any corrections, grammar structure or include any ideas on how I can develop my poem and make it stronger, please? by Marilyn.Newman on 6/26/2017 edited by Marilyn.Newman on 6/26/2017
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7/6/2017 12:25:14 PM Topher Gee Posts: 3	Simple typo: replace "tare" with "tear". For me, there's too much going on here. I see ideas and images for many poems rather than one that attempts to state it all. For example: "When I look in the mirror, I see I cannot wait to encounter you once more and give you a neverending French kiss, one which will want to make you give me an enormous hug and squeeze me so tightly." What if you took the parts of this one line and developed each into their own line: 1) evaluating the mirror's reflection 2) the never-ending kiss (dropping "French" allows the reader to fill in their own pictures) 3) enormous hug and squeeze me so tightly To me, these are all rich images that offer opportunities for you to flesh them out in interesting ways that make the reader feel them. I think this could amount to its own poem. Alternatively, it could become a stanza in a longer poem. What I am suggesting may be entirely contrary to your vision. It's your poem, so follow where it leads you. I appreciate you sharing it and wish you luck with your writing. Topher
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7/8/2017 3:58:45 PM M Braimah Saaka Posts: 1	I agree with above. It will also help if you avoided well known cliches. Try breaking up the poem, it will make it more appealing to the eye. I hope I have been helpful.
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