Poetry Forum
For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
5/30/2017 5:43:41 PM
Mar'yam Thaoban Posts: 2
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Love
After all is just a word,
Boiled to mean feelings
Which can cut like a sword
Or simply leave one reeling
In ecstacy,
Or sane insanity.
It has a sweet taste too
Which only the heart can tell
But the body can feel
And the hands can touch too.
But it does go sour.
Yes! Indeed it does;
Add a little selfishness
A pint of forgetfulness
Large amount of lies,
Deciet or simple pretense.
Remember to add Lust
Which leaves love to rust,
You can add a little trust
That which already is lost.
Envy, anger and jealousy
Are to be added in large quantity.
Remember the all-mighty pride,
The only ingredient to set the tide
For a journey of no love lost.
©NobleHeart
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6/19/2017 7:57:34 PM
Graphite Drug Posts: 81
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This is an interesting idea. Did you use a recipe and insert your own words, like verbs for verbs; or nouns for nouns? Maybe not. I think if a poet writes good sentences she/he can't go wrong. Here's how I read it:
Love, after all, is just a word. Boiled, it can have feelings that cut like a sword. Love can leave wounded reeling in insanity. Etc. Etc. . .
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