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6/24/2016 10:31:44 PM Sean Jacobs Posts: 1	I wrote this poem after seeing the death of a ant. Upon Montreal evergreen stone, Urban sounds, trotted in flash of light The stone shook, thunderings in wounds Thou paladin agony, was second long Upon grounds of worthy fought Where battles, swirl in moonlight Howling tunes of great combat Where gleaming shields, clash With Giants of Montreal Gentle gaint, looked upon ant With smiling, eyes dying So thus his song was sorrowful To see thou paladin in agony Thus burial was crafted, Gently, with childish hands Your muse of healing hearts Happily, praise your inter camelot Tearful Gaint, wrote upon stele Of paladin great purpose, His wroth in earthen realms Giving incense for afterlife
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6/25/2016 9:42:09 AM Lisa Costigan Posts: 12	Good use of words,like how such a dark topic was made lighter
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6/26/2016 4:49:35 PM Graphite Drug Posts: 81	There needs to be a better sense of linking clauses with line breaks, stanzas, and punctuation here. This is difficult territory and I have somewhat avoided it in my own work. The majority of contemporary poets I have read need to work on this. They seem to have delusions of grandeur.
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7/21/2016 9:04:40 PM Tom Arnone Posts: 14	Nice, if unusually worded, imagery. Your use of the comma is unnecessary in stanza one, line four; and in stanza two, line two and four. The commas in stanza three, lines one and two are debatable. Of course, you may, rightfully, disagree. I, too, am often plagued by visitations from departed roaches and water bugs.... ;-)
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