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2/22/2016 2:04:42 PM Lenny Gazbowski Posts: 8	the joyous arrival of winter and my heart rejoices as once again darkness lords it over the light this for me is sheer delight as once again I can venture outside Lenny Gazbowski(c)2016 My first poem for your perusal. I would like to say that I rarely or seldomly use punctuation, I prefer to leave that honor to the reader. Peace, Rev Lenny
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5/15/2016 8:31:18 AM jon best Posts: 4	I was just about to suggest some punctuation, and then i continued reading and saw your note underneath :P So skipping that point, there is just one thing that stood out to me and I would suggest maybe a slight rewording. It was the using of "as once again" on two of the lines. I would try maybe; "for, once again darkness" or perhaps "for, once again I can venture outside." "as now I can venture outside." "Once more I can venture outside." Etc. I just feel that in a poem this short, there is no need to reuse the same phrase. Hope I helped -- More poetry of mine at http://poems.jbestbooks.com
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