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11/16/2014 10:11:57 PM

Bob Atkinson
Posts: 294

Victoria, potentially a good poem, although prefer, myself,
poems which teach something the reader didn't know.
This means poems not requiring research to write don't hit
the high mark of poetry.

Vanished

Stranded under the old autumn stars, .........ditch "the"
I limp through the scaly forests ................"the" again
Struggling, blind, numb................................why?
Watching trees of darkness sprout from my footsteps

Lightning flashes,...............................................trite
I think I see many faces,.......................................so?
Fighting bloody hands .................how'd you get them?
A shadow leaps,an owl screams, .......so? needs more
A meteor streaks the grisly sky .................."the" again

The moon knifes at my skull, ....................."the"again
Chains dangle off my shoulders, drag me to the ground
..."the" again
Enslaved by chains of affliction ............................huh?
Forgotten,forsaken.............
....needs expansion, forsaken from what?
Lost
edited by Bob_Atkinson on 11/16/2014

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