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Forum Home » Be Gentle » Playing God

Post here if you're new to receiving a critique and you want "gentle" feedback on your poem. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
1/23/2011 1:58:10 AM

Kaci Jo Atteberry
Posts: 7
This place is so cold;
Frost-bitten by your heart.
The lies and games are getting so old;
I'm done letting you rip me apart.

The way that you play God
Makes me uncontrollably nauseous.
I know now that your actions were fraud;
Guess I should have been more cautious.

Just because you think you know what is best
And you are used to having things your way,
Does not mean that you are a welcome guest;
You are the reason he chose not to stay.

It is not your place to try and decide
Which road would be better in the long run.
Your guidance has been pushed aside;
Stop trying to live your life through your son.
edited by dead_innocence on 1/23/2011
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5/15/2011 6:53:51 PM

Matt Hunt
Posts: 10
I thought it was good. Sounds like a very controlling force.
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1/31/2012 4:10:17 PM

susan simpkins
Posts: 1
good one
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10/5/2012 8:42:23 PM

Susan Gwynne-Galfe
Posts: 2
I too use personal experience in my poetry and can read through the lines you wrote! Sounds like some juicy stuff lol! Good work. Truly enjoyed it.
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