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Forum Home » High Critique » Quintessential Contemporary

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
1/22/2011 5:36:33 PM

Timothy Leisman
Posts: 1
Just a little poem I wrote about modernity, I can't assign a style to it.. It just kind of flowed out of me when I wrote it, with hardly any thinking or editing... Contemplating the words has had incredibly meaningful effects on my life, and I hope it hits you in similar ways. Would love to hear any critique


Quintessential Contemporary

her eyes widened as her soul rushed back in
i left the room
with no comprehension as to her doom.

the paper scratched back
as the pen scrawled with enough force
to leave a real mark this time.

or excuse me, the typewriter
keys play ticks and tocks in my ears over
and over. no one writes with pencil anymore.

what we have done surely limits
our understanding
(just throw yourself with me into the digital sea)

with no boat in sight we are lost in the tide
exactly how we should be:
with no comprehension as to her doom.

time to self destruct some more
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