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5/13/2010 9:12:29 AM Michael Benkhen Posts: 40	It isn't offensive...I can't really find flaws...you obviously spent a lot of time editing or you just nailed it on the first try. I have so many poems no one has even read...I sometimes wonder if they are offensive or challenging to one's beliefs so no one bothers.... -- The land is littered with the graves of animals I never killed yet somehow mourn.
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5/14/2010 3:44:27 PM Mac McGovern Posts: 9	Catie, I guess, when we write a poem we really believe is a great poem, we immediately question if if really is great. Why we doubt our creativity is the great unkown. I read your poem 3 time. Each time I read, I gained more appreciation for your talent. I find nothing in your poem that does not inspire the reader to want more. You have produced a poem that is powerful in its creativity; with imagery that thrusts the reader into the moment, and only releases at its conclusion. I love your poem and would change nothing. I find when I write a poem which I beleive is good, and it gets little attention, I change the format to either make it easier to read or grab attention. It usually works. Thanks for shring your wonderful poem and for providing me an engaging experience through the eyes of a talented poet. -- Mo matter what you write, someone will love it.
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9/1/2010 12:59:05 PM Cas Davis Posts: 2	Wow, I say dido to Mac's comment which was poetry in and of itself. I think your poem has a very rich texture, Catie. Lot's of talent
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9/8/2010 7:29:48 PM John Taylor Posts: 6	the only suggestion I have for change is to take out or change the word "brazenly" in the twelfth line, since "brazen" appears in the fourth. My other suggestion is just to write more pieces like this. I could hardly keep the goosebumps off my arm while I was reading it. Some of the lines which I found particularly strong (for any poem, not just this one) were: "...I cling too like a rabbit clings to her virginal, white fur."' "Oh, Don't touch me without love!"' "Chasing my dreams into sleep..."' "And I wrestle that rabbit for the purpose of fur.''' "...I sleep like reflections on calm water, And I dream... Oh, how I dream."
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