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Forum Home » High Critique » Contest, Improvement?

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
7/22/2010 11:17:04 PM

Sally Casey
Posts: 1
Hi, I just entered a contest and I was wondering if this poem could use improvement and what kind! Thank you (=

Gulf anger! 7/22/10

Beauty by nature,
Beauty at heart,
You succeeded to rapture,
Oil’s just the start.


The gulf was beautiful,
You turned it into a nightmare,
This mess isn’t suitable,
You’re doing nothing out there.


Month’s go by but the problem’s still exists,
You think you have what it takes but we don’t see improvement,
Next time you do something think of the consequences,
Peoples lives, homes for animals that’s what the interference is.


Beauty by nature,
Beauty at heart,
All going down the drain,
I hope you bow your head down in shame!


-S.C.
edited by poetrypink94 on 7/22/2010
edited by poetrypink94 on 7/22/2010
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Forum Home » High Critique » Contest, Improvement?






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